Wardrobe By Sam

Change is Messy

2010-03-02T12:16:00.001-06:00

My poor family. This is our dining room table:

If you look carefully you will spot the (deservedly) much maligned broccoli sweater and a whole pile of scoop-neck Faded Glory acrylic sweaters. Also a Norma K cheetah skirt and top ensemble I bought because P thought it was cute and kind of sexy. There are purses and never-worn shoes, too, and an entire bag of things I bought in on my last St. Louis trip. Oh, and the most hideous swimsuit ever. But, hey, it was October and the only others on the rack were way frumpy skirted one-pieces or shiny bikinis.

Yesterday I received an email from WalMart asking about my "recent return experience." Uh, which one? I know many people have been banned from returning things to Target because they return things too frequently. I suspect that I'm near my limit at WalMart--and I have about $250 worth of tagged stuff to go back.

When I ended this project almost two weeks ago, I found myself in a bit of a daze. Honestly, I felt as though I'd just been let out of fashion jail. It took an act of will not to go automatically to the rack and shelves where I kept my WalMart clothes. The night I realized I could wear one of my favorite Flora Nikrooz gowns, I was so excited I almost cried. Then I wore the shearling coat I blogged about last time every day for a week. I didn't want to take it off! So there I was in fifty degree weather wearing a coat meant for thirty degrees. Does anyone else find that a little sad and kinda shallow? Sure, I learned a lot from the project, but I don't think it changed me all that much. I'm still a sucker for an awesome coat. Oh, well.

I had done a pretty good job of stowing all of my pre-WalMart clothes. One of the pictured laundry baskets is full of them. WalMart and pre-Walmart laundry is mixed together in the second one. I had stacked all my sweaters--two piles deep--on my top three sweater shelves, so all I had to do was pull one out to get dressed. Most outfits/dresses/skirts/jackets are still on their regular racks, ready to go.

But now I find myself in one of those awkward seasons--you know, like late September and October, when it's hot enough to wear shorts one week, then cold enough for jeans and a cotton sweater the next week. The fashion trade calls them transition periods and designs whole seasons of clothing around them. I used to make sure I had at least two pairs of khaki chinos and a khaki skirt for transitions. I got out of that habit about five years after chinos went out of style--or, at least, I stopped wearing them. In transition periods, I always have tons and tons of laundry about until around November, when I finally get around to putting the warm weather and transition stuff away.

Complicating my WalMart/pre-WalMart transition is the fact that I'm actually keeping about 1/3-1/2 of what I bought during the project.

Here's a list:

Everything from Sam's Club, with the exception of the broccoli sweater, a couple broom skirts and swim coverups that still have tags, and the toasty warm orange Green Tea hoodie that I might have kept if I'd followed the Dry Clean Only instructions.

LS cotton tees, Danskin workout wear, tennies, yoga and sweatpants that I bought for workouts/sleeping

Bras (because I hand wash them, they're in great shape and will last out the year)

Hanes cotton underwear and socks

2/3 of the jewelry

All camis (a cami is a cami)
All Sam's Nine West blue jeans and CK cords (though I'm not bowled over by the CK cords--they haven't washed so well)

Leather shoes and sandals, and all Norma Kamali Shoes

Almost everything Norma Kamali except: the polka-dots I bought out East, the cheetah stuff and a few thin sweaters that are too big and not flattering. A strapless jersey dress I'm too fat to wear now. Two pairs of black career pants, matching vest and jacket (too flimsy). And this, because buffalo plaid is only flattering on seven year-olds and attractively-coiffed pencils.

The stuff I'm glad I bought and am delighted to keep:

This Norma K dress ($20). I felt great in it and love the red shoes.

Norma K. black cords--fine wale, wash very well.

Scarves! Love them all!

Australian F'Uggs. (Seriously--if they had the Uggs label on the back, I couldn't tell the difference. They've held up great.) (Sam's)

London Fog All Weather Leather handbag from (Sam's)

Calvin Klein brown hooded down coat (Sam's)

Those plain camis. ($7 under a $150 sweater? You bet.)

Dr. Scholl's athletic mules. Fabulous for slipping on with workout socks for the exercise bike. Does anyone else hate to have to strap on tennies for that?

And, last but not least, That Damned Necklace.

In fact, I think That Damn Necklace should be celebrated. So I'm awarding a new That Damn Necklace in Brown/Bronze to reader Branda because she thoughtfully took note of it often. Lucky you, Branda. Wear it in good health--or not!

I'll let you all know how the mixing, sorting, returning and donating goes soon. Plus, I still have a couple of piles of yummy mysteries to give away.

Thanks for dropping in. I've missed you all!

Thoughts and a Post-Project Pic

2010-02-19T06:15:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, the lovely and talented Patti suggested in a comment that I should post a pic of what I wore on my first post-project day.

Yes, that's a thick and yummy RL cashmere sweater beneath my favorite coat. And there's my black/brown Brahmin bag, and the toasty leather gloves I bought to match the coat. Oh, oh and a necklace that I love. Sorry you can't see my black, heeled boots, but really it's the coat that's most important. And did I mention the coat?!

As I disassemble and reassemble my wardrobe, I'll post from time to time about the stuff I'm keeping and the stuff I'm giving away, and why.

Soon!

Know When To Say When

2010-02-17T23:08:00.000-06:00

I wonder if you'll find this surprising:

After much soul searching and thought, I've realized that--after five months and two days of the Wardrobe by Sam project--I'm done.

This was definitely not an easy decision to make. I don't like to give up on goals I've set for myself. If I did I wouldn't have published my first full-length novel almost twenty years after I began writing fiction. In the end, it's not so much that I've given up, but that I finished early.

When I started the project, I had every intention of doing it for the full year I'd planned. In fact, that intention was solid right up until last week. What happened? I realized that I've reached a point of diminishing returns. I've learned everything I hoped to, and more, in the five months since I started.

Here's some of what I learned:

1. I am not my clothes.
2. Yes, I can get away with wearing discount store clothes pretty much anywhere--and no one will really care or even notice.
3. Inexpensive doesn't necessarily mean something is cheap, and it can look damn good.
4. Pleather is not evil, and if it's done well, no one can tell the difference anyway.
5. I may be vain, but only a true narcissist could take a fashion-type shot of herself every day and not go a little bit crazy.
6.Wow. People have a lot of energy about WalMart.
7. Costume jewelry is a good thing. Not only can it make an outfit--you can also travel with it and leave it lying out in a hotel room without hesitation.
8. I'm way more picky about handbags than I thought I was. I may even have handbag issues.
9.With the exception of a few too-young, bored cashiers with a tendency to share too much, the real people of WalMart are unerringly friendly, helpful, and patient.
10. I really am way too old to shop in the junior's department, but it's okay to buy a tee shirt there every so often.
11. Acrylic IS evil and shouldn't be allowed. Ever.
12. It's kind of fun to have polished fingernails again.
13. Without a doubt, I've had the loveliest, funniest, most supportive group of readers and commenters that a blogger girl could have. You all have shared yourselves and your stories with astounding generosity. I'm humbled by your kindness and more grateful than you'll ever know.

A part of me is busy lining up a long list of explanations of why it's okay that I'm ending the project now. But that's a personal discussion between me and the voices in my head that everyone else would find completely unintelligible.

There has been one strange but huge advantage in my having to shop at one category/brand of store. It's been very helpful when it comes to my ADHD. I always have a difficult time prioritizing and making choices. Here lately, my fashion choices have been very limited, and so I've had discrete, manageable boundaries within which to operate. Norma Kamali's mostly-black line makes everyday dressing Garanimal easy. If one-piece Barbaloot suits ever come into fashion, I'm just going to buy one in every color and throw all my other clothes away.

What's next?

Well, my DH says that I should learn to sew and wear only clothes that I make for a year. I told him that I would if he would. This was a huge mistake because he would not hesitate to throw on a toga made from a bedsheet, hop in the car, and go teach his classes or give a reading. I, however, know my limitations. I took an adult ed sewing class when I was eighteen. I bought a pattern and fabric for a jumper, and even--with lots of help--got it cut out. At the end of the eight-week class, I came home with a pathetic excuse for a belt.

I expect that my fondness for life-changing projects won't disappear. There was my Flat Belly Diet blog and, now, this. I have much to think about, much to write. Much of what I learned doing WBS will no doubt end up in a book--but probably a different book than I'd begun to plan. Mostly I need to continue working on my novels. And of course I'll be blogging at Notes From the Handbasket--though with a lighter hand. I won't hesitate to include fashion in my posts. Fashion is the ultimate shiny object.

Here's my final ensemble. I was messing around with lighting for a beauty shot of my DH, and Bengal, who was home from school, got bored of being my test model and ran away to hide. "You do it," he said. "You take your own picture all the time!"

To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); Grace Elements sweater: $15 (Sam's); Faded Glory Jeans: $15; Earrings: $7; Necklace: $10; Faded Glory boots: $23 Total: $73

Hugs and Hugs! xoxo

In Which I Go Totally Mad and Get All Out of Order

2010-02-16T00:03:00.000-06:00

Egad, Monday was ADHD kind of day. I feared it would be when I realized it was 11:30 p.m. on Sunday night and I was still ironing. Yes, ironing. Finally, I had to stop and go to bed with a pile of ironing unfinished.

This morning, my DH sat down in his favorite chair to drink his coffee and I had to chase him out of it because he was sitting on several unironed sweaters. "Forgive me," he said. "I thought it was a chair." I told him that of course it wasn't a chair--it was now, like all the other horizontal surfaces in the living room, a pre- or post-ironing work surface. But I did clear him a space, and finished the ironing. Two and a half hours and two and a half episodes of INTERVENTION later, and I was finished.

Why is it that my closest friends and family members (my parents the exception) don't always even know where their irons are? Ironing has become such a part of my current life. In fact, it's become such a part of it that it's gotten to be rather a bottleneck. Do you have things that act as bottlenecks in your life? Things that you really don't like to do, but know that you eventually must do?

I'm going to throw tradition to the wind today and post some pics out of order. Just because sometimes my pics get to be a bit of a bottleneck. And it's just that kind of day....

Day 145:

This was part of my WM sweater extravaganza I indulged in on my last St. Louis trip. I bought three. Or four.

White Stag sweater: $9 (clearance); George tank: $10; White Stag Necklace: $8; Earrings: $5; Faded Glory jeans: $15 Total: $47

Day 146:

I confess--this photo was definitely more about Miss Nina Garcia than what I was wearing. She couldn't stay off of my keyboard, so I made sure she got her picture taken. This is basically the same outfit I wore to meet with the book club that had read ISABELLA MOON a couple of weeks ago.

Norma Kamali dress: $20 (red!); White Stag sweater: $9 (same style as above); George cami: $7; Scarf: $5; Norma Kamali Leggings: $10; Faded Glory boots: $23 Total: $74

Day 151:

Was so busy doing Valentine crafts for/with Bengal's 4th grade class, that I forgot to take a pic of myself. Here's the craft. It worked out great!

Day 153:

This is my last Valentine's Day picture for this year. Did it seem to anyone else that Valentine's Day seemed a little over-the-top this year?

More Miss Nina! I love the tongue action. Oh, and those are my gorgeous flowers from my gorgeous Valentine. This is the same outfit I wore here.

Travel Elegance (Sam's) Jacket: $34; Travel Elegance skirt: $37; George blouse: $14; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $3; Faded Glory boots: $23 Total $118

Work on those bottlenecks a little at a time. I DO NOT recommend ironing before bedtime, then doing it again in the morning. Come to think of it, no wonder INTERVENTION resonated for me today. : )

TTFN!

Valentine's Day-wear or Nightwear, as it were.

2010-02-10T23:11:00.001-06:00

Because sometimes Valentine's Day pretties from Victoria's Secret are too classy anyway....

Smart & Sexy bra: $10; Smart & Sexy boyleg panties: $5 (Note: Color on the label reads CRANTSTC. Hm. Crantastic, maybe?)

Smart & Sexy gown: $14

What can I say? Really, I've done us all a HUGE favor by not modeling these for you. I was surprised at WalMart's limited Valentine selection. There were far more choices up in the front of the clothing department near the sweats and workout wear. Definitely more pajama than lingerie.

I heard a radio commercial for the PajamaGram people today. They were advertising their Hoodie-Footie suit:

Couldn't find anything like this at the mothership. But let me ask you...Say, you're a woman, and your Valentine gives you an attractively wrapped box full of nightwear. Which would be your preference? The Hoodie-Footie or something lacy and, well, kind of sexy? Or would you prefer a cotton cami and boy shorts, or maybe an Eeyore or Tinkerbell nightshirt? (Lots of those at the mothership!)

Day 141:

My face is all shadowy here, like I need a shave. Aside from the fact that my indoor photography sucks, I think I'm getting kind of vampire pale this winter. It's just been too darned cold to spend much time outside taking pics of myself.

Sweater: Grace Elements: $20 (Sam's. It's the batwing cotton sweater that I have in purple as well.) George turtle: $10; Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's); White Stag necklace: $8; Earrings: $7; Faded Glory Boots: $23 Total: $82

Day 142:

My favorite Norma Kamali sweater: $20; White Stag turtle: $7; Norma Kamali Cords: $15; That Damn Necklace: $7; Earrings: $3 (clearance); F'Uggs: $30 (Sam's) Total: $82

Day 143:

Now here's a glamor shot! This is how I spend cold winter afternoons--editing on the couch. The throw/blanket is not from WalMart, but blankets don't count. I think Bengal brought it back for me from his trip out west this summer.

RL sweater: $21 (Sam's); Faded Glory jeans: $15; Earrings: $12; random socks: ? Total: $48

One last thing:

Totally random winner of the first Stack O' Mystery Books drawing is...Holly W! She'll receive NEW WORLD MONKEYS, THE MURDERED HOUSE, FACES IN THE POOL, THE WATER'S EDGE, and ILLEGAL.

I think I'll give more away next week, too.

Go send those Valentines! xo

A Fashionable Root Canal, et al.

2010-02-07T23:42:00.001-06:00

Big day today. If the snow holds off, I'll get to have a Monday afternoon root canal.

In celebration, I've decided that I'm just going to start giving away piles of new books. Any followers are included in the drawing, but I'm not in this for the promotion. (What, exactly, I'd be promoting, I don't know--except the blog, of course.) So, if you all actively keep followers away, as of now, everybody would probably win books-LOL! But I'd love for you to tell your friends about the blog if you enjoy reading it.

Anyway, if the root canal does happen, I may be curled up in a sweatshirt ball over the next couple of days. You'll know where I'll be.

A couple catch-up ensembles:

Day 138:

This was such a fun outfit to wear. You can see the dogs approved. (Told you they want to be in every picture...) We had a brief break in the ultra-cold snap, and I wasn't leaving the house all day. Comfy.

Norma Kamali Terry Jogging pants: $15; Norma Kamali Athletic Dress (ls): #20; White Stag cotton scoop neck shirt: $12; White Stag Necklace $10 (the cat broke it later that evening, darn it); L.E.I. flats (faux suede/faux sheepskin): $20 (I think); Earrings: $35 Total: $112

Day 139: Had Bengal take a quick pic with my phone while we ate at a local Mexican restaurant. Sadly, it came out too blurry.

RL gray sweater: $21; Scarf: $5; White Stag turtle: $7; Earrings: $7; Faded Glory jeans: $15 Total: $55

Day 140:

Good hair day, not my favorite sweater day. Though I do like it better than that asparagus green one. It is blessedly warm, given that it's fairly hefty cotton. Love it with the blouse. Unfortunately, the blouse is 60/40. : ( Can't win them all.

Sweater (Sam's): $17 (now on clearance for $4.41--go get them if you need a decent cotton knock-around); George blouse: $12; Jones NY stretch jeans in gray: $18 (Sam's); Earrings: $35; Faded Glory boots: $23 Total: $105

Cracked myself up looking for Valentine's Day nightwear at the mothership today. Special post on that soon.

TTFN! Have a great week!

Fade to Black. Or Gray, as it Were.

2010-02-05T06:15:00.005-06:00

"Gray hair is a sign of age, not of wisdom" --Greek proverb

All you sweet young things can take today off reading (if you dare!) because I'm going to talk about getting older. Not older as in, old enough not to be asked for i.d. at the liquor store, but older as in, oh, my god, who is that hag in the mirror with the fading skin, graying hair and why can't I wear red lipstick anymore?

After extensive reading and website trolling (pre- and during this project), I've learned a thing or two about color and, ahem, older women.

To be blunt, age sucks us dry. It's a pigment thief, stealing it from our hair, skin and irises. (Except where it deposits irregular little blobs of freckle-looking things in random places.) It makes our necks look like party streamers from Silence of the Lambs. It makes our eyelids weird and floppy and unable to hold onto shadow. Without our life's moisture, we shrink, and fade into the background. Where are our rosy cheeks (in a compact!), our plump lips (ouch, that lip plumper lipstick stings like hell), our wide, flashing eyes (did I say flashing?--please, not yet!)?

I haven't yet found the answer to overcoming the whole age problem, but I'll let you know. Most advice suggests that 1) less is more when it comes to makeup, 2) a pop of color is preferable to neutrala and 3) women over forty should definitely put away the belly shirts and short shorts.

These days, my wardrobe definitely lacks color. I'm working on it, but budget clothes tend to look a tad too budgety when one gets into bright blue poly, plum acrylic, and Hawaiian flower peasant shirts. So I have a preponderance of basic black and gray on my racks and shelves. (If you take a look at Norma Kamali's WalMart line, you'll find she tends to stick to basic colors with blue or red accents. Except for that awesome cheetah print outfit. I own it, but you won't see it unless I slim down soon.)

Don't get me wrong. I've always worn black. It's sophisticated and often slimming. Black is the artist's and socialite's staple. Has been for half a century and, I suspect, will be for decades to come.

(Okay. Holly Golightly was a hooker. Kind of like a socialite.)

Being a blonde, I've always loved gray on blondes. Gray is Gwenyth Paltrow in a cashmere sweater and pearls, or Kim Novak in a dove gray suit in the film Vertigo.

But just look at Helen Mirren (she's sixty-three, and I have sixteen years to get there, but she's still one of my heroines).

Notice the light rose-plum sweater, and the perky, gray-blond hair, as well as the berry lipstick. Subtle color. No black. No gray. She doesn't look washed-out at all. In fact, in the hundreds of recent photos of her that I looked at, I only saw her in black twice and deep gray once. In 2008, she was even pictured in a red bikini. And she looked fabulous. (I know, I know. She's an international star, and she has professional Beauty Fairies hovering 'round, awaiting her commands. But why would a woman aim lower? Though I will not be wearing anything resembling a bikini. That's just masochism.)

So, my current project-within-a-project is to inject some color into my wardrobe and life. And to figure out the makeup thing. Unfortunately, there are no Beauty Fairies in the aisles of WalMart.

Here's Day 136, which started this thought train. As I said, I own a lot of gray. It helps not to have it around one's face, I think.

White Stag sweater: $15; George tank: $10; Earrings: $12; Necklace: $7; can't remember the exact pants, but probably $15; Norma Kamali flats: $20 Total: $79

Day 137:

No picture. I think it just got too late and I got grumpy. But here's Bengal's Pinewood Derby car that he and I worked on together. The race has been rescheduled for the 13th. Of course there's a Lego guy stuck to the top!

Have a fabulous weekend!

In Which I Get All Excited About Something Shiny.

2010-02-02T21:00:00.021-06:00

Have you ever just been happy to have fingernails?

I've had exactly three professional manicures in my life: last year while waiting to catch a plane during my last book tour, another on my last honeymoon, because I thought I should. I don't remember the circumstances of the third. I was probably someone's bridesmaid. Fancy fingernails have just never been a priority for me. And, well, if you are a fancy-fingernails kind of person, this might kind of irritate you: I have appallingly healthy, rarely-break nails at least forty-six weeks a year. (Late February and March are awfully dry.) They just grow and grow until I get frustrated and prune them back to the quick and start all over again. My cuticles may look like ragweed, but does anyone really care about cuticles?

My problem is that I tend to use my nails as gardening tools, screwdrivers, and pan scrapers. So any polish I put on them renders me frustrated and helpless.

Helpless? Am I seeing a theme here? Sunday's post had much to do with a girl looking good for her man. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a girly persona. And is there a more helpless feeling than having one's fingernails or toenails glossy with wet, wet, wet polish? You can't use the phone or a camera, dig out silverware, take a shower, take something out of your purse (like money to pay the manicurist--though I suspect regulars always take care of that on arrival), get dressed, pet the cat, etc., without causing a major damage to said polish. For a while there when my daughter Nora was little, I tried some girlification, but every time I'd groom and polish my nails, she would wake up, throw up, or demand to be picked up.

While on a book tour, I do try to keep my nails trimmed and shapely. No one wants to have a crone with jagged claws and ragweed cuticles sign their book.

Glamor is so demanding!

Now, I'm going to sound like a commercial here, but I think I've discovered it: Best. Polish. Ever.

Last week, I was feeling blue and fashion-deprived. There is NOTHING worth having that's new at either Wal-Mart or Sam's Club right now. At Wal-Mart, their George line is mostly full of thin poly jersey, and their wholly-owned White Stag spring clothing line looks a lot like this:

But I digress. I refreshed my makeup supplies (another post) to the tune of about $80. Surprisingly easy to do even at a discount store.

Here's Sally Hansen's Complete Salon Manicure. The reviews I've read on various websites have been all over the place. There are lots of close-ups of polished nails and shiny bottles. (And my, those nail polish sites are popular. Maybe I should get into the beauty promo business!) For me, who really just wants a little girly sparkle at the ends of my fingers, this stuff is fabulous. I wore it for four days with nary a chip, and it only took two coats. Dries fast. Took a while to remove. It promises that it's base, color and top coat all in one. I'll wear it without a base coat for a while to see if it stains my nails.

Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure: $6.50

Here are my ragweed fingers in Pedal to the Medal. I like it.

Day 134.

A couple days before last week's snowfall. It was very cold.

George Turtle: $10; RL Sweater: $21 (Sam's); Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's) ; Calvin Klein Down Coat: $50; Earth Spirit Boots: $35; Earrings: $12 Total: $145

Day 135.

This is how I spend a lot of my day--you can ask Bengal, who took the picture. The white sweater looked a much looser when I bought it seven pounds ago. It came out around the holidays, but I don't think it's too sparkly for later winter wear.

George sweater: $12; George tank: $10; Norma Kamali Career Pants: $15; Earth Spirit shoes: $30; Earrings: $10 (clearance from $13) Total: $77

Hope your life is full of blessings, today!

P.S. Remember to follow WBS here or on FB Networked blogs. I'll give away five mystery books for every five new followers--everyone is eligible!

First Five:

NEW WORLD MONKEYS by Nancy Mauro
THE MURDERED HOUSE by Pierre Magnan
FACES IN THE POOL by Jonathan Gash
THE WATER'S EDGE by Karin Fossum
ILLEGAL by Paul Levine

I Could Never Answer the Door In Curlers, But I've Done it in My PJs

2010-01-31T22:36:00.002-06:00

Back in the Dark Ages of my distant childhood, I always paid close attention to music lyrics. Still do. Nothing exposes cultural trends and norms like a period's music. I seem to remember a lot of songs from the 1960s (I was precocious child, of course : ) proclaiming the virtues of a woman looking good for her man. Think Streisand, Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Mel Torme, Julie London, etc. Classics, all.

For most of my life, I thought it was pretty much my marital duty not to hang about or even work in sweats, etc. (Post-babies doesn't count!) I didn't even let P see me in a shower cap until about five years ago, and I rarely spent the day in jammies, even when I was sick. I found out through therapy that this wasn't necessarily a good thing--It's actually kind of considered a dreaded issue. P can attest that I eventually became much more relaxed about such things. But it was tough to find a balance between obsession, vanity and common sense.

One of my homemaking heroes, Flylady, is adamant about the need to get up and moving and dressed "to the shoes" everyday. She doesn't encourage a girl to get all dolled up, but just to put on something attractive and comfortable and to fix one's makeup and hair. That way, a woman is ready for anything life might throw at her. It makes a huge amount of sense for me, given that I'm likely to have to face any number of delivery people if I'm home all day. And I don't want to be too schlubby when I pick up Bengal at school, have lunch with P or a friend, or shop at the mothership.

I must say that one of the things I've enjoyed about this project is learning that it's fun to accessorize on a daily basis and be able to look in the mirror at random times to see that I have my game face on. For whatever reason, I associate being "dressed to the shoes" with being a grown up. I can't ever remember seeing my mother in pajamas after 8:30 in the morning. Now, I see so many women (and not just on reality television) who seem to be at odds with their age, dressing in clothes from the juniors department, or showing waaaaay too much sagging skin. A part of me wants to applaud their bravado. Another part of me wants to take them aside and have a heart-to-heart about dignity.

It is a question of balance, I think. Being a dignified member of a community as well as being an individual who's secure enough in her persona to say, "really, it's a wear-a-yellow-tube-top kind of day, and I don't care who knows it!"

Thoughts?

Day 131. Not such a great picture day. Spent the whole day writing in cozy writing clothes. (Ironic, huh?) And no makeup.

Day 132:

This is now one of my favorite pictures because my own Bengal took it. (My mother once said that ten year-old boys are among the sweetest things on earth. She's absolutely right.) We're in the parking lot of Sam's Club, after church. Bless his heart, he lets me drag him everywhere and he's even gotten quite vocal about what he thinks looks good, and what he doesn't care for.

The black Norma Kamali sweater is baggy for a size medium. It looks adorable with leggings on the website model, but no one wants to see me in a mini-length sweater and leggings. Not even my DH, and he loves me a lot. Pants are also Norma K. I bought both a size ten and a size eight in the career pants. It's been such a puffy winter that I've been wearing the tens most frequently. But these pants have a stretch to them, and after I've been wearing them without a belt for a few hours they sag most unpleasantly.

Then there's the fading. These two pieces haven't faded horribly, but they aren't perfect, either. I felt okay while wearing this ensemble indoors. Sunlight wasn't kind to it, though. Everything just felt too baggy and bleh.

Norma Kamali v-neck sweater: $20; Norma Kamali Career Pants: $15; George shirt: $12; Earth Spirit shoes: $30; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; Allison Scott handbag: $99 (Sam's Club) Total: $190

Day 133:

Oh, I do like this sweater. Norma Kamali does the batwing/kimono thing so well, but it's nice to see other folks get in on the style. I confess that the first thing that drew me was that it's made of 100% cotton. Hallelujah! Plus it's thick, not flimsy. Bought it in black, too. (Hm. Is there anything I haven't bought at least 2 of in the past few months?)

Funny thing about the Nine West jeans...One can't try on clothes at Sam's Club, so one just has to guess about sizing. I was so uncomfortable all day in these jeans and couldn't figure out why. When I took them off, I realized I was wearing the sixes instead of the eights. Whew.

Grace Elements sweater: $20 (Sam's); Chaus turtleneck: $8 (Sam's); Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's); Earth Spirit shoes: $30; White Stag necklace: $7; Earrings: $35 Total $117

Hope you have a fabulous week!

P.S. See all those boxes on the floor by my feet? They're filled with tons of new books released in the past year. I'm desperate to give many of them away. So, with every five new followers, I'm going to have a drawing to give five away! Did I mention I have many, many fabulous mystery/thrillers just waiting to be mailed? Oh, and just because Carrie thinks chocolate is an excellent idea, I'll randomly give some of that away, too.

Pebble Pleather, P.V.C., and Some Big Bad Leather

2010-01-28T23:09:00.000-06:00

Shoes and handbags. *sigh* It's been a frustrating four and a half months.

One of the keys to my staying relatively sane in this project has been to try to make sure that when I leave the house I'm looking fairly put-together. And that means not wearing, for example, a brown coat, black shoes and a brown bag. Or tennis shoes with my leather jacket. Some things are just...not right. As you can tell from my last post, I tend to have just a couple of high-quality everyday bags (most often the Brahmin) that I use most often, then fill in with special bags on special occasions.

Many women have a different bag for every outfit, but that has never been my style. Why not? I have no moral or style-related objections to owning many bags. It's that I'm incredibly LAZY when it comes to switching purses. I'm not even going to tell you how much stuff I carry in my purse. Some time ago, my baby sister sent me a darling 3 x 4 Vera Bradley zippered change purse. Do I use it just for change? No. I put all the cards and cash I'm most likely to use around town in it, and then I have TWO business card cases for all my other cards (Ins., Staples, Best Buy, Kroger, Buckle rewards, shipping punch card, Barnes and Noble discount, etc.) It's ludicrous. I need a wallet, I think. I've perused them at Wal-Mart, but I was thoroughly underwhelmed. Maybe I'm breaking my own rules with the change purse--but it's just always been there.

So, here are the handbags I've been using:

This brown, Faded Glory pebbled pleather is the first bag I bought. $15. Not bad, good color. Saw an attractively dressed woman carrying it yesterday. Has plenty of extra pockets for keys, phone, sunglasses, etc. Cute floral lining that actually coordinates. The black version was ugly and way too faux-looking. Only problem is that it's waaaaaay too deep. I'm always almost driving off the road when I try to dig out my lipstick/change purse/phone/hand sanitizer.

The lighting makes it hard to see texture on the black bags. The bag on the left is black pebble pleather. Like the satchel style; the buckles are a tad cheesy. It's easy to find things in. The bag on the right is smooth pleather, and I wear it when I need something a little more tailored, i.e. when I'm wearing black career pants and a jacket. Sometimes. Both $15, I think. Couldn't find a brand, but they're either George or Faded Glory. Funny--they don't even say "vinyl" inside. They're "100% P.V.C. (Isn't that what plumbing pipes are made of?) The one on the left says, "Dry Clean Only." The other: "Do Not Wash."

Weird.

Here are my excuses for evening bags. They're wallets. $10 each. But they're super simple. I like the copper snap style the best. The patent pleather is fine, too. Nothing special. There were fancier evening bag styles, but they were very preteen-ish.

Now, I do have a hobo bag I bought last week at the Maplewood Wal-Mart in St. Louis. It's To the Max brand. Very plain, coated beige linen, with a woven leather strap. $20 (orig. $40) But let's save that picture for later in the season, shall we? We all need something to look forward to!

Here are my latest purchases. Both from Sam's Club. If you circle around the jewelry counter at Sam's, you'll see a single case with three or four shelves of purses ranging from $89 to $150. Usually leather. Often they're...um, how can I say this? Sparkly? No. Busy-looking? Sometimes. Flashy. Maybe. I guess that's the closest word. They're not quite as obnoxious as some of the the Macy's/Dillard's styles that have 8 jillion buckles and tassels and brass thingeys on them--but close. Many are unusual colors. One that's currently for sale is faux snakeskin (hot now, isn't it?), and is so big that it looks like fifty snakes died for it.

Forgive the tassels on this one--it does have a fun, Pucci-style lining. ($99) I think that's one of the things I liked best about it. Also that it's leather. I've been craving leather. (I just gave away a gorgeous pair of suede floral Italian boots that were ages old--this would've looked killer with them. They were that special. Really. Loved those boots.)

I was satisfied with the light brown bag until I saw this one (below) at a different Sam's. ($99) Could've used a black one more, but there was no black. I succumbed anyway. The color is delicious (better in daylight than under my evening flash). And it's by London Fog (Weird--the raincoat people) so it's rain-resistant.

Conclusion: Enjoying the leather bags, even though I still have to use pleather when I'm wearing black. But even if I'm dressed in mostly black, a brown leather bag during the day isn't out of place. Did I mention the style rule that your bag can always match your hair, if it doesn't match anything else you're wearing? It's a great rule for briefcases and computer bags.

Days 128-131:

I'm almost embarrassed by this extra-dorky pic. It's a tad out of focus. I'd just gotten my new glasses (for wearing around home so I don't leave readers lying everywhere--you know I'm old, right?) and got a kick out of wearing them. (I had Lasik years ago, but now I'm farsighted.) BTW-My DH says they make me look smart. Ha!

George sweater: $3 (clearance); George pale blue blouse: $12; Faded Glory jeans: $15; George earrings: $7; That Damned Necklace: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 Total: $74

This is me in the middle of the book club I met with last week. They were so lovely--and lovely to me. Asked great questions. We all laughed a lot. That's me in the middle, with the book.

Norma Kamali red jersey dress: $20; Norma Kamali black leggings: $10: White Stag acrylic cardigan: $15; Faded Glory motorcycle boots: $23; Gold earrings $35 (Wal-Mart, too); George necklace: $7; Scarf: $5 Total: $115

Day 130. Hard at work at my desk.

RL cotton sweater: $21; White Stag turtle: $7; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $12; F'Uggs: $30

Total: $85

Was in a funk and bought a ton of new makeup. I'm pondering a little how-to video--If I can figure out how to shoot it w/out my cat, Miss Nina Garcia, attacking the camera.

A big welcome to my new followers and anyone else who might be peeking in. With the addition of every ten new followers, I'm giving away stuff--gift cards, books, fun, random shiny things--because it makes me happy and I appreciate you all so much.

Go forth, my dears, and revel in your blessings!

Things I Miss: The Handbag Edition sob

2010-01-27T06:15:00.004-06:00

The thing about being a writer as well as a recovering clutter junkie, is that pretty much everything I own has a story attached to it. When I have time, I love to hunt down special things for special occasions, or spend hours or days tracking down the best deal on some unique thing. But I love it most when I acquire a true treasure--something that belonged to someone I knew or was given to me with love. It's also kind of a rush to buy something as a reward for myself. It's a good thing I'm more of a purse person than a jewelry person, because the whole reward habit could get very expensive very quickly.

Purses, or handbags if you will, make or break an outfit. I stopped worrying about whether or not my purse matched my shoes at least a decade ago. Now, it just has to either coordinate with something (you can always match your hair), or stand on its own when I'm really dressed down. On the dressed-down days, it's nice to have a bag that looks at least a little civilized.

I thought I'd break this into two posts--starting with a few of the bags I really miss.

#1--Needlepoint

I bought this years ago at the Discovery Shop for the American Cancer Society in Roanoke. It must be forty or fifty years old. Only just in the past few years have purses with carry handles really come back into vogue. I don't use this bag very often. I like to wear it with a simple black outfit--not necessarily vintage--and very little jewelry because I don't want to take attention away from its beautiful needlework. Needlepoint is one of my secret vices. I'm terrible at it, but if they day ever came when I was forced to do nothing but goof off all day, I would want to hit golf balls and do needlepoint.

#2--Small, adorable. I bought the straw bag on the left when my two sisters and I went to NYC for my middle sister's fortieth birthday. I'd always wanted one of those Nantucket bags--do you know the ones I mean? Someday maybe I'll have one, but this one suits me fine. Plus, it's so colorful and looks great with a cool summer outfit on a Sunday morning. The store where we found it had thousands of bags. We discovered it a few minutes after we left Ground Zero. An odd combination, given the somberness of the occasion. But sometimes things just happen that way.

Sorry for the glare on the second bag. I decided I wanted to get this post up and could only photograph after the sun went down. P bought it for me last spring when he was in Charlotte for a residency. It's a Michael Kors and is casual enough to be used for a ladies' lunch date or simple enough to be used for a light evening bag. I've only gotten to use it once. Now it's safely wrapped in a linen bag for post-September use.

#3--Status bags 'cause they go with everything. I got over having visible designer names on things around 1988, thank you very much. It's a shame that so many purveyors of fine goods have to slap their names or graphic initials all over their wares (Do you hear me Coach?!). But it's nice to have a sturdy, stylish leather bag. A bag that can hold its own when one is wearing all black or white, or a concealing coat, or a simple dress. Or even jeans. These are both Brahmin bags. I'd never heard of them until I walked into Dillard's about a week after I'd gotten my first check for my first novel and was shopping for conference/tour clothes (planning ahead, of course!). I have an alarming talent for walking into a store and being able to zero in on the most expensive thing in the room. It's not a talent I'm particularly proud of. I love the bag, though. Plus, it goes with both black and brown shoes or boots.

I bought the one on the right at a Dillard's in Cincinnati. It was right there on the aisle. Forty percent off. 'Nuff said.

#4--Bags of the heart.

The Michael Kors is a repeat from above, of course. But it's both of the heart and a handy evening bag.

The bag up front came by way of a woman named Laura Brown. She was my father-in-law's English nanny back in the '30s and '40s and was with his family until she died in 1990. She kept a lot of things that had belonged to my FIL's mother (coincidentally named Laura Benedict), and I suspect this was one of them. It's lined in peach silk satin, and the design is black velvet. I use this bag all the time because it's unique and has an unusual shape.

The beaded bag is my most precious bag. It belonged to my father's mother. It's not an unusual example of a 1960s evening bag. The beads are silver and beige. The interior is satin, but not silk. The chain is fairly utilitarian. It's heavy, though. Of good quality. Attractive, but dependable. A lot like my grandmother, who managed an S and H Green Stamps store for nearly all the years I knew her. She and my grandfather socialized quite a bit and later traveled a lot. She was particularly fond of Asia, for some reason, though she was always a simple, strong woman at heart. I think of her every time I use it.

What are some of your treasures?

Promise you'll pop by my Notes From the Handbasket blog today and say hi to Kelli Stanley, one of my awfully talented thriller writer-chick friends. Her latest book, City of Dragons, is out next week, and she gave me a great interview telling all about it!

Days 125-127: I'm So Not a Graphic Tee-Girl

2010-01-25T06:15:00.002-06:00

Oh, my. No picture for Day 125. I wonder what was up with me on Days 125 and 126? 125 must have been the Sunday I took Pom up to St. Louis to the airport. Really, no one wants to see me on an airport transport day. We always end up leaving the house between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m., and I'm lucky to get my teeth brushed. After we drop Pom off, I drag Bengal to all the St. Louis Wal-Marts and Sam's Clubs I can--at least the ones that are open at 8 a.m. on a Sunday. Poor kid. I'm sure it's some kind of child abuse. But I always end up buying him something ridiculous. I think he came home with Pokemon cards and a giant box of Moon Pies this time. (I know there are those who looooove Moon Pies, but they're just way too sweet for me. If you want to win my southern heart, feed me pralines, and I will follow you anywhere. Just saying....)

So, here's day 126. I had such giant Gucci bags beneath my eyes that I couldn't bear to face the camera. Probably wasn't wearing makeup, either.

IZOD sweater: $21 (Sam's Club); Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's); To the Max blouse: $3 (Clearance); F'Uggs: $30 Total: $71

Speaking of shopping, let's ponder some Norma Kamali. There's only one Wal-Mart store in St. Louis that I know for sure carries NK clothes. And you know that without the occasional cotton sweaters from Sam's, my awesomely versatile NK jersey going-out clothes, and my Norma K. French terry transitional wear, I would probably sit weeping and itching all day in a pile of pilling acrylic sweaters. So I really count on Norma.

But what in the heck can I do with these?

I do have the above v-neck in black. Plain. And there's my adorable "I Love My Dog" tee. But when I found the NK department at the Kirkwood WM, these tees were some of the few NK items they had. Comfort is important, and it's nice that these tees are all cotton--but I don't see myself spending all of the coming spring looking like an Andy Warhol painting. Plus, the cheetah's head would be stuck underneath my boobs. Awkward.

I did pick up this Jersey Tie Shift in a gray and black stripe, but I haven't even tried it on yet because I've been super busy. Plus, it's been a lumpy kind of January. It'll look cute with a cardigan, too.

There were no NK swimsuits in the store that I saw--but how cute is this?

This is cute, too--If you're twelve and have had several ribs removed. Why do I have the feeling that this summer is going to be even longer than winter?

Hope you're staying warm!

Hey--I was thinking about doing a thing where I'll give something away for every ten new followers I get. WM cards? Books? Chocolate? Any thoughts?

While I'm here, I might as well cover Day 127 because I'm so behind. It really wasn't a glamour week, was it? Ew. But Miss Nina Garcia is always gorgeous.

Sweater $17 (Sam's--forget the brand); Chaus turtle: $8 (Sam's); Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $35; F'Uggs: $30 Total: $105

**Clothing photos from www.walmart.com

Days 122-124: Overexposure

2010-01-21T06:15:00.002-06:00

Remember when it used to be a novel thing that people would post extensive, revealing photographs of themselves or webcam videos on the Internet--like that girl who pretended to be a homeschooler, but was really an actress? I'm completely enchanted with Noah Kalina and Jonathan Keller who have both been taking daily headshots of themselves for years and years.

What a weird thing it is, to take pictures of one's self. I never gave it much thought until this project. Van Gogh's self portraits bothered me (He painted something like 36 of them). I felt sad that he saw such torment in his own face, and was brave enough to represent it on canvas. The impressionistic techniques can only have enhanced the brutal effects.

I love how intense and real these self-portraits are:

Albrecht Durer

Gustave Courbet

(Okay, he's a bit of a drama queen here.)

Van Gogh

Paula Modersohn-Becker

People who have professional photographs taken of themselves--writers, politicians, businesspeople, celebutards, actors, brides--they aren't necessarily looking for reality. They want their best selves, not their everyday selves on display.

Photography is such an instant experience now. The digital camera sees every damn thing--if the lighting is right, which for me, rarely happens--and one can't hide a bad hair day, pimple or nose bump. There's always Photoshop for the perfectionist or the artist.

Regular readers will recognize writer Michelle Brooks's comments as coming by way of Michelle's Spell. With every wonderful blog post Michelle puts up, she includes a photograph of herself. They are usually posed, but delightfully honest and fun and unabashedly sexy (the girl can't help it!). She just doesn't have a bad picture day. When I first started reading her blog, I was blown away not just by her writing (she posts poetry, non-fiction, fiction snippets), but by how brave she was to have all those photos of herself out there for everyone to see.

I read an interesting article somewhere online that talks about self-consciousness in photos--particularly in photos of children. Oldest children are usually the most self-conscious, their smiles often "fakey." They try to smile in a pleasing way, but they're not really into it. Some children start out this way from birth--others pick it up when they're seven or eight. I used to give Pom a terribly hard time about it--but of course that only makes it worse. And so the child has to unlearn it as an adult.

My particular weakness is vanity. I hate having pictures up that I don't like. It's as though I imagine I'll be in some political campaign someday or will have some crime committed upon me and the only picture someone will find is of me with one eye half-closed, or wearing a really ugly bathrobe from you-know-where. (Don't bother to look--you won't find one unless you took it one morning when I was out with the dogs. In which case, you're stalking me, so, go away!)

As you can see by the vast array of dopey, poorly photographed shots I have lying around here, I think I'm almost over all that now. (Still no bathrobe, though!)

Day 122:

I had to look at the date. We were near the end of a long work week. P was gone and I was single-parenting. You can tell by my shell-shocked look.

RL sweater (Sam's): $21, Miley Cyrus cami: $7: Earrings: $7; Faded Glory Jeans: $15 Total: $50

Day 123:

Here I am. Hard at work--bad hair and very little make-up. I really hate how flat my hair gets in the winter. Is yours that way?

George turtle: $10; Miley/Max Azria vest: $14; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $69 (Sam's); Necklace: $8 Total: $116

Day 124:

Out with the dogs, Sat. a.m.

Misc. Wal-Mart and Sam's stuff: about $60, plus my cute red rubber boots: $25

Must run. I'm off to meet with a book club which just read ISABELLA MOON!

Days 120 and 121, In Which I Boldly Blend Literature and Fashion

2010-01-18T23:27:00.000-06:00

On Saturday, I wrote about letting go of sixty pounds of sweaters and purses. Right now they're weighing down the trunk of my car--probably not enough to make the back of the car sag or get better traction on the snow. Still, it's a lot of stuff.

What follows may sound like a stretch, but bear with me.

Whenever I finish a story, a novel, an essay, a poem (I'm a terrible poet!), a review--whatever kind of writing I'm doing--I have an urge to send it out for submission immediately. I'll have been working on it so long, and so intently, that I don't want to see it again. Ever. Well, maybe not ever. But not for a long time. I get so close to the words that I don't really even see them anymore. The characters' voices have become real just by virtue of their echoing in my head over and over and over. I can no longer see their good qualities or their flaws--Or they just look like one giant GLOB of flaws and I'm embarrassed by them as though I were a fifteen year-old forced to show candid family photos to my friends.

But I almost never pop work in the mail (or email) just as soon as I finish writing it. I like to let it sit. Sometimes it's for a couple of days, sometimes it's for a few weeks. I need the distance to see it clearly. Rewriting gives me more pleasure than drafting a piece of work. I get to reshape the world I've created. Make it better. I'm often stunned by the missteps I've made or the silly, unconscious puns, word repetitions, or obvious gaffes. When I find them, I'm momentarily embarrassed, then thrilled that I caught them before the piece went out.

What happens in the time that passes between my writing THE END the first time, and opening up the piece again for revision? Life happens. Even over a matter of days, I'm a different person. I've learned things, read things, wept, laughed, traveled, thought, cooked, ironed, argued, loved. I can't see the story in the same way because I have different eyes. Different eyes--they're like a kind of extra-added bonus on top of the days we've been given to live.

So, here's the connection: I'd been away from my sweaters and purses for four months. Longer, actually, because I hadn't worn any of the sweaters since last spring. They were always in view, of course--mostly stuffed into my closet shelves in great wads so that after I pulled the first layers out, more wool, cotton, rayon, and silk slid down onto the floor like rocks of a mountainside. Four, seven or eight months. That's a long time. I'm overwhelmed to think how different I am, how different my life is from eight months ago. But, of course, it's not just me. We're all different. Sometimes in really tragic ways.

I found it startlingly easy to set aside more than half of the non-Wal-Mart sweaters I owned. Many of them had been abandoned by me years ago, but I was hanging onto them for irrational reasons. There were sweaters I adored in the giveaway pile. But they don't suit the person I am now or they don't suit my circumstances. "Kill your darlings" is a famous phrase that all writers know. If you love a sentence or word with irrational devotion, you probably need to dump it. There's a difference, I know. Clothes that make us happy or feel good about ourselves are always in style because confidence is always in style. Word "darlings" often just don't suit the actual work. They're too precious, too gilded. But I'm thinking of a certain rose-brown, delicately crocheted, long cardigan that was made to be worn over a tank or cami. It was gorgeous. I'd bought it because I'd seen one much like it on a certain diminutive writer-chick and it looked fabulous. Oh, how I wanted to look fabulous in that sweater! It was expensive, tasteful, charming. I tried to wear it every year for eight years. I think I actually wore it for three whole days over the course of almost a decade. And, still, it was in my closet.

But the months-long distance from all of my clothes has made me see them with different eyes. More critical, more objective, less emotion-driven, and more honest eyes.

As Martha used to say: "It's a Good Thing."

Day 120:

Gosh, I like purple. Too bad this sweater is shapeless at the bottom and acrylic as well. How cute would it be in silk?!

White Stag sweater: $10; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); Calvin Klein cords: $17 (Sam's); Earrings: $7 (George, I think) Total: $37

Day 21:

I call this my Poor Girl's Ducks Unlimited Field Brunch ensemble. Very khaki and earth-toned for camouflage, with a luxe scarf for style. The vest is from the men's department (Great idea, Carrie!) and is faux-sheepskin lined. The outer shell is a reasonably soft canvas. Sturdy zipper. Deep pockets for extra shotgun shells or a dainty silver flask.

Wrangler vest: $25 (men's dept); Norma Kamali French terry 5-pocket pants: $15; scarf: $5; George turtle: $10; No Boundaries belt: $8; Faded Glory boots: $23; Earrings: $7 Total: $93

Visited StLouis briefly this past weekend and browsed some new Norma. More on that later....

Hope you're having a terrific week!

Days 118-119, and The Life of a Sweater (Or lack thereof)

2010-01-16T00:06:00.001-06:00

So, how many times have I bitched about how much I hate acrylic?

Today, while I was procrastinating on the last gasps of my novel (I hate writing The End...), I decluttered around sixty pounds of sweaters and purses from my closet. The purses were rather hard to let go of. (Including one very nice Coach bag--yummy black leather, tasteful, made before the days most Coach bags began to look like graphic cereal boxes--that will be showing up at the Carbondale Goodwill next week) The sweaters, not so difficult.

I'm a big cotton sweater fan. You know, "Cotton Is the Fabric of Our Lives..." I love thick, twisted cotton yarns in ivory and pastels. Comfy cardigans are my favorites. But I also love butter-soft cotton. The kind that feels like a paper-thin, cashmere wrap.

There was a surprise in my pile, though. I discovered that one of my favorite cozy pullovers was made of 80% acrylic! The other 20% is rayon, which is made from adulterated cellulose. But the yarns were thick and marled, kind of a boucle. There was a some pilling, but the weave was so dense you couldn't tell. Plus, it was more than six years old.

At six years, a good sweater is just getting REALLY good.

Here's my favorite (now only) Christmas sweater. I know. I say the words Christmas Sweater, and even I think of Colin Firth in that hysterical reindeer sweater from Bridget Jones' Diary. But they can be charming. This one came from Talbots, and I know it's at least six years old. Pic is from Christmas 2007.

Christmas sweaters get light wear, of course. This one is wool, so it's lasted quite well. Here's the life of a good sweater: Front of the closet for 2-3 years. Stylish. Then relegated to weekday/errand wear, maybe with jeans, for 2-3 years. Lastly, it's there to keep you comfy around the house, warm in pleasant memories.

Sadly, the life of THIS sweater will be nothing like that.

I don't think I have any other pics with this cardigan. Faded Glory: $12, 100% acrylic. The reason there are no other pics is because it's become unwearable in public. It was chunky and comfy when the above pic was taken. No longer. It's only good for wearing while cleaning the house or lying on the couch, recovering from the flu.

My lame photography skills won't allow me to show you how bad the sweater really looks, now.

The fading isn't as bad as it looks, here. (The flash washed it out.) But the pilling is much, much worse than it looks. And this after only two washings!

D + grade for this sweater. It only gets the plus because it was cute before it got washed twice. My first really big disappointment. I guess after four months (TODAY!), that's not too bad.

Day 118:

Yeah. I know. I look like I just gave up my pizza delivery job and ran to Wal-Mart to pick up an outfit for my new job selling off-season timeshares.

White Stag top: $12; Miley Cyrus vest: $14; Norma Kamali pants: $15; Scarf: $5; Faded Glory boots: $23

Day 119:

This is me, pissed off because you didn't buy the timeshare!

Norma Kamali Shirt: $15; White Stag Sweater: $12; Calvin Klein pants: $17 (Sam's); Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7

My college girl/songbird goes back to college this weekend. Miss her already! Isn't it cool when someone brings joy into your life whenever she's around?

Have a terrific weekend.

Days 116 and 117, Plus a Tornado!

2010-01-12T21:35:00.000-06:00

The lovely Sally W sent me this amazing picture that a Sam's Club customer took a while back:

I'm petrified of tornadoes. They definitely top my list of least-favorite weather events, right above ice storms.

Thanks, Sally!

Now for something totally pastoral...This pic shows a relatively quiet moment, but the birds were mostly crazy at the feeders this weekend. It's warmed a bit since, and I'm hoping they've found water. I'm jonesing for a heated bird bath, now. Can anyone recommend one?

Day 116:

Am I a Good Witch? Or a Bad Witch? My Christmas gift from Pom. (No comment on her comment!)

White Stag cardi: $12; George turtle: $10; Nine West Jeans (sam's): $17; Necklace: $8; Earrings: $35

Total: $82

Day 117:

I wasn't looking so good. I bought a bright pink sweater that's the same style as the last post's broccoli sweater. Take my word for it--It was warm. That's all.

But I was wearing my practical, new Earth Spirit All-Weather hiking boots with rugged soles. So cute. I felt like I was sixteen again.

Boots: $35

Stay warm!

Coincidence? I Think Not! Days 111-114

2010-01-11T19:34:00.002-06:00

This past Saturday night, Pom and I watched the adorable and ridiculous Confessions of a Shopaholic on our beloved Netflix streaming account. I've heard not-so-laudatory opinions of the book, and haven't read it, but the film was great fun. Fortunately, the shopping done by the character Rebecca Bloomwood is so over-the-top, that I wasn't too jealous. (Well, maybe just a little....) I confess that I don't own Yves Saint Laurent anything, and definitely nothing Gucci. I like quality, not necessarily labels. The difference between the two can range between the hundreds and thousands of dollars.

So my existential crisis and I decided to take our focus off of clothing for a while and look into freshening up some other areas of the domestic scene. I think that the film certainly spurred me on. So. Drumroll please..................

Ta-Da! I bought a big, sparkly fish:

It's just like the Rainbow Fish because it occasionally scatters its scales. But they're colorful, glass scales and glue back on easily. It's about 18" long. I like that it looks like it has legs. I think we'll call her Lady In Redfish. What do you think?

In case that doesn't seem like much of a shopping spree to you, here's a list of what else I bought: three dresses, a shirt, and a sweater for Pom; more accessories for the awesomely awesome Keurig single-cup brewer we bought ourselves for Christmas; a long candle-thingey for the dining room table; two nightstands, three barstools, and a small console table with six storage baskets. Oh, and a full-length mirror for the back of the bedroom door, a spice rack, measuring spoons and cups and two throw pillows. *sigh* I feel better now. And I still only spent a third of what I spent on clothes for my first book tour. Best of all--I haven't been to the mothership or satellite since Friday! (A girl needs a break sometimes, plus Pom begged me not to. She went to Sam's with me on Friday and I think it wore her out.)

If you're a Facebook friend, then you know about the birds...On Friday I felt utterly compelled to go to Marion to the Sam's Club there. I had no idea why. I wasn't expecting any new clothes on the tables, certainly. (New: Appallingly pastel/white Izod pullovers with sewn-in striped dickies in Easter colors. Ack! Not even on the golf course!! Oh, but now watch--six weeks from now I'll be buying one from lack of variety. *sigh*)

So Pom and I were sitting in the car while I ate my Taco Bell Taco and small Pepsi (forgot to eat lunch), parked facing the east. I noticed a wide flock of small birds passing above us a couple hundred yards away. And the flock never really ended. We sat there for ten minutes while this dark, undulating ribbon of birds flew north. Don't know what sort of birds they were, but they were small. The sun was getting dimmer and the flock looked like it was coming more from the distant southeast, so we decided to go into the store before it got much later. The whole thing felt like a kind of miracle to me--I'm so drawn to birds. I'm not sure why. I have my complaints about Southern Illinois, but I feel privileged to be living on the Mississippi Flyway.

Day 111:

Speaking of Sam's.

These separates are from a line called Travel Elegance or somesuch. They're kind of a rough jersey. Mostly I liked the color and the stretchy waistband of the skirt. The jacket has 3/4 sleeves ending in a loose ruffle (like the bottom of the skirt). It looked kind of weird until I turned up the cuffs of my shiny ivory blouse. The ensemble is kind of Reba-ish, don't you think? Boots were definitely the order of the day. Thank heavens for the scarf. I love the way the colors tie in. I was all dressed up for church and then ended up staying home--but I didn't change all day. It was a comfortable outfit, even if I did feel like my hair wasn't nearly big enough.

Travel Elegance (Sam's) Jacket: $34; Travel Elegance skirt: $37; George blouse: $14; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $3; Faded Glory boots: $23 Total $118

Day 112:

"Mommy, you look like a gangster." What can I say? I was really, really cold.

Miley Cyrus vest (I know.): $14; To the Max blouse: $3; White Stag turtle: $7; Calvin Klein (Sam's) cords: $18; Earrings: $7: Necklace: $7 Total: $67

Day 113:

Did I mention I have to close the door on the dogs, or they want to be in the picture?

Layered a turtle beneath the broccoli sweater. The sweater is not good, but it's cotton and cozy w/ the turtle. Please don't say anything about the hair. It was a loooooong, cold week.

White Stag turtle: $7; Sweater (Sam's) $16; Norma Kamali cords: $15; earrings: $7 Total $45

Day 114:

Another in the Bathroom Series. Forgot to take a picture at home, so I came out of the movie theater during the MetLive HD re-broadcast of "Comtes de Hoffmann." Wonderful opera. But, hey, I was in the dark for five hours.

RL sweater: (sam's)$21; Nine West jeans: $18 (sam's); White Stag turtle: $7; earrings: $7; F'Uggs: $30 Total: $83

Thanks so much for all the encouraging comments on my existential crisis. Your thoughts make a real difference for me. : )

Here's a pic of Miss Nina Garcia from today. She's home after having her lady parts altered. Poor thing.

Hope your week is full of warm blessings.

Days 105-110 and a Fearsome Thought

2010-01-07T23:45:00.002-06:00

What if September 14, 2010 comes along, and I'm a completely different person?

Perhaps this sounds overwrought, but I think I'm having some kind of existential crisis. (I'll pause here so you can come back after you've stopped laughing.....)

The crisis really kicked in when I decluttered my shoes last week. They had been sitting in various piles or on shelves or shoe racks for months, gathering dust. I felt like I shouldn't be too close to them. It was kind of like junior high when I broke up with a boy, but still thought he was really cute, and the idea of being friends with benefits occasionally seemed like a good one.

As I sorted the shoes, I wiped them down with damp rags and a microfiber towel. I matched up each pair and put them into keep/give away/throw away piles. As I sorted and touched each shoe, I had to ask myself if the shoes would suit my clothes and me next year, if I had things to wear with them, etc. (This book has wonderful lists of questions you should ask yourself about your belongings.) I was stunned to find that I could let go of so many shoes, and not give them a second thought once they were out the door.

I'm not an impulse buyer when it comes to clothes--maybe I'm a little bit impulsive when it comes to shoes. But I'm not crazy/awful. Most of my shoes were obviously worn. The thing about buying really expensive shoes--shoes whose designs are unique and solid--is that you can wear them over a period of many years. I have shoes I bought ten years ago that are special and stylish and will always be so because they're unique. But there were just too many of them that I wore too infrequently to justify storing in a house with almost zero storage.

Now I have twenty-three pairs of shoes to choose from each day, and it seems like too many.

And the thing is...they suffice.

I have the black patent and red patent Norma Kamalis that work with any dress-up WM/Sam's outfit I own. I have athletic shoes for exercising, athletic mules for wearing with leggings and cute Norma K sweat outfits. I have F'Uggs for the cold and snow boots for the snow, and rain boots for rain. Black boots and brown boots. Brown leather mules and black. Hideous man-slippers for walking on the cold floor late at night. You get the idea.

To bastardize one of my favorite family sayings, "I have a sufficiency, more would be a superfluity."

So, what happens when my narrow options are suddenly blown wide open? What happens, months from now, when I'm standing in Dillard's designer dresses or looking at shoes at Nordstrom and I realize that I don't have ten different acrylic sweaters to choose from, but a hundred, or forty different styles of black leather boots with 1"-4" heels to choose from instead of two or three? Will I even be able to bear paying $150 for a discounted Nordic wool sweater on Sierra Trading Post's site (one of my favorites), or $75 for last season's $350 Donald Pliner's at my favorite, secret West Virginia shoe store?

As Tim Gunn might say, "This worries me."

Day 105. Ah, yes, my ecclesiastic/monkish look:

Not flattering. Makes me look wide as a bus. I actually started out with a black turtleneck underneath and no belt. DH and DD agreed I needed to go back and try again.

Norma K sweater: $20; No Boundaries belt: $8; Norma K shirt: $10; Jewelry: $14; Norma K cords: $15

Day 106.I was still getting over the flu, but it was a good hair day. It was cold. That's why I look so strained.

To the Max jacket: $25 (available online at WM--comes in several colors. Cute, but the matching pants are cut for Nicole Ritchie. Don't bother.); George turtle: $10; Nine West Jeans: $17; Earrings: $7

Day 107. No photo. Still flu-y.

Day 108. You know I want to make you happy, which is the only reason I'm showing you this. It was New Year's Eve. I showered at 5:00. How sad.

Faded Glory sweater: $12 (had hoped for warmth, but acrylic); To the Max jeans: $17 (redeemed the day, almost); Earrings: $7

Day 109. Needed a little color in my life and was in the mood for pearls, too. I was hard at work on New Year's Day. Thought it would be a good habit to start on Day One!

George blouse: $12; Scarf: $5; Norma K sweater: $29; Earrings: $5; Pearls: $18; Faded Glory jeans: $15

Day 110. Didn't take this pic until 11:00 p.m. HUGE mistake. I'm not allowed to talk to people after ten p.m. My dear friend Maggie made that rule back in 1984 or so. Still holds. : )

Norma Kamali sweater: $20 (still my fave); George turtle: $10; Earrings:$12; That Damned Necklace: $7; Norma K cords: $15

Almost caught up.

Be well. If you're having an existential crisis, too, feel free to tell us about it!

Thoughts on Sam's Club, and a Look at My Stack-of-Legos Disguise--Days 96-104

2010-01-05T11:37:00.003-06:00

Have you ever been in a Sam's Club? If there's anyplace that exemplifies America's appetite for consumer goods and lots of them, it's a warehouse store like Sam's or Costco.

The first time I went into a Sam's Club, I was overwhelmed with all the STUFF. And it wasn't just that the warehouse was vast and packed to the gills with everything a convenience store owner or Kate Gosselein could want (okay, she's probably more of a Dean & DeLuca person now), it was that plastic-wrapped pallets towered above me, offering the promise of an endless supply of everything--and possibly eternal life--should the zombie invasion occur at just that moment. Birds make their homes in warehouse stores. You can find giant boxes of Mozzarella sticks or assorted Cheesecake Factory cheesecake slices. Or 500 tiny containers of coffee creamer in one box. Or a mattress. Or a ginormous bag of broccoli. Or a sixty pound bag of sugar and enough Crisco to power a space shuttle. Or extra-large boxes of adult or baby diapers. Or faux Uggs. Or one of those big, ugly janitorial brooms for your garage with a ginormous box of tee-shirt rags to go with it. Or a diamond necklace. Or Lipitor. Or Chateau Neuf du Pape. Or a container of melt-in-your-mouth hot ribs that you can take right out to your car and eat with a Cherry Icee. Oh, and you can have spankin' new tires put on your car while you're sampling shrimp, stir-fry, popcorn, yumberry juice or ham biscuits served to you by (mostly) friendly ladies in hairnets. Phew!

If the word bourgeois leaves your lips with a note of utter scorn, Sam's Club is not for you. That's why I think so many people don't ever want to go into one and tend to bemoan the stores' existence. As an unapologetic capitalist and a birth-certificate-certified member of the bourgeoisie, I totally get the place.

Reading up on Sam's and Costco on Wikipedia, I learned that Costco is only just now beginning to accept food stamp benefits. It think it's a good thing, but if I were in the unfortunate position of having to rely on government food benefits, a warehouse store would be the last place I would go. It would be too depressing to have to walk by the pricey patio furniture and rows and rows of bestselling books and $2000 Go Karts to get to the meat and produce department.

No, Sam's Club--which originally opened to serve small businesses--is targeted happily to institutions and prosperous folks who can afford to buy in bulk and have the cash or credit to pay for it. I see a lot of married couples in Sam's buying that patio furniture or train sets for their grandchildren or a cart full of wine and cheese. When they're done shopping, the get into their Avalons or Dodge Rams or Cadillacs (not usually Escalades) or tasteful Mercedes.

It's the bourgeois in me that gets a little thrill every time I go into a Sam's Club. There's always something there that I want, or can use. My Christmas list was pretty much all Sam's Club this year: the 50 piece Rubbermaid Locking Lids storage set; a lidded set of Pyrex bowls and pans; an Oster blender; wool socks; chocolate (if you haven't eaten an entire 2 pound bag of Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips, you haven't lived--I have, and now the entire 2 pound bag surrounds my hips). I already own every cotton sweater they're selling this year in every color.

I confess that I probably wouldn't have done the WM project if I hadn't decided to include Sam's Club. The clothing there isn't exactly designer--Sure, a few of the pieces have CK or RL labels on them, but they're few and far between and less expensive versions of items that might be sold at Macy's. But it was that middle-class comfort I wanted to hold onto--just a little. Before September, I bought very few clothes there. Maybe a top I thought was fairly fashionable, or a turtleneck or two. Basics. All I can say is thank goodness for Sam's when it comes to this project. Without it, my entire winter would be spent in acrylic and cotton/poly blouses layered upon one another for warmth. (Let's save that for another post. But I just don't understand why WM doesn't bother to make comfortable natural fibers like cotton--substantial knit, please--or wool accessible to the masses.)

Do you shop warehouse stores? Opposed on principle?

And so to catch up a little....

Day 96.

Ugh. Total flu day. I think I'm wearing my "I Love My Dog" shirt because I felt like a sick dog.

Norma Kamali Tee: $8; Sweater (Sam's): $13 (?); Jones NY Brown velour sweats (no I wasn't going out!): $15; F'Uggs (Sam's) $30 Total: $66

No pic for Day 97. Just picture me in a bathrobe and sweats. Or not.

Day 98. This may be one of those pictures that will illustrate what a bad idea this whole project was. I call it my OMG-I'm-A-Huge-Block-of-Stacked-Legos Look. Would be darling minus ten pounds.

Norma Kamali shirt: $10; Nine West Jeans (Sam's): $17; That Damn Necklace: $7: Earrings: $12

Day 99. More flu, but I had to go out. No comment from Vinny Barbarino. (Go look him up.)

Jacket (Sam's): $79; Faded Glory jeans: $15; RL cotton sweater: $21 (?--need to go back and look up prices); Faded Glory boots: $23 Total: $138

Day 100. More jammies.

Day 101. Christmas Eve! Had to get my act together for parental visit and church. Unfortunately, it was an acrylic act. Bleh.

White Stag sweater: $10; To the Max jeans: $17; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); scarf: $5; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 $72

Oh, and the crystal bowl vase my mom gave me for Christmas. I used it just a few days later when my sweetie brought me feel-better flowers.

Days 102 (Christmas--sweats, meatball subs, much hilarity, chocolate and Wii.) -- 104. Absolutely not camera-appropriate in any way.

Exhausted? That's enough for today, I think.

Congrats to Margy on snagging the fab purple Joan and David flats!

More soon. So glad you're here!

Day 95 +++ A New Year Begins!

2010-01-03T22:57:00.003-06:00

Don't you just love all the possibilities that a single change in the calendar brings? Seasonal changes--of weather, of emotions, of relationships, of wardrobes--enchant me. They always bring renewal of some kind. Change. I think I'm addicted to change. Maybe because of the whole ADHD thing, or maybe because I just like it.

I woke up sick with the flu exactly two weeks ago--the day after I got my H1N1 shot. I know that everyone says you can't get sick from a dead virus, but it feels awfully coincidental to me. I only started feeling better two days ago, when I announced that I was finally ready for Christmas to start. *sigh* I feel like the holidays passed in a kind of goomy fog. But we did manage to get up a lovely, once-alive Christmas tree that filled our house with real pine scent, and got to spend Christmas day in our sweats and/or jammies while we played with our new toys. I call that a success.

I have so many projects in the works....Later this week, I will finish the draft of my third novel. I'm working on a story for a fun Wal-Mart-themed anthology, looking forward to the UK release of the paperback edition of Calling Mr. Lonely Hearts and also the July publication of 100 Must-Read Thrillers--a book of essays in which I have some work. Add to that, my continuing WM adventure and a major decluttering of Camp Benedict. To mention one, I'm delving into my closet, reorganizing. I've come to the stunning realization that my WM wardrobe is nearly as large as my regular wardrobe--minus the evening clothes, of course. Shocking. I also took 27 pounds of shoes to the Goodwill. That's kind of shocking, too.

Here's the pile:

And that doesn't even include boots--fashion, snow, or rain. Or the 14 pairs of WM/Sam's shoes and boots I've bought. Or the thirteen pairs I found in my office closet where I kept the ones I only wear once every couple of years. But my shoe burden is now 27 pounds lighter. I probably should've tossed another 5-10 pounds. Baby steps....

Do you have long, slim elegant feet like me? I wear a 9 M. I have this darling pair of textured grape Joan & David flat loafers that I bought for $30 at TJ Maxx last spring and have never worn. Want them? Be the first to comment that you do--but you have to promise that they suit your style and you will wear them. And I want a picture of you in them!

Here they are:

So many photo days to catch up on...Though I will confess to many gaps. No one wants to see pics of me having the flu. I promise. And I lost a day somewhere. But one of my new goals is not to get uptight about the rules I make for myself. I'll stick to them, but I'm not going to drive any of us crazy any more doing it. (Okay. I'm the crazy one, but I appreciate anyone's willingness to share...)

In that vein, I must confess that I wore my pearls in the two hours before I went to bed last night. (I was wearing jammies and did not leave the house.)Not my $18 WM pearls, but the gorgeous string my DH bought me years ago when we were young and in love and not very wise with our money. I posted earlier about pearl health. There's no way I'm going to let my babies die. And having someone else wear them so they'll stay healthy--well, that just doesn't feel right. Like sending one's only child to be nursed by a wet nurse!

Quick ensemble (also purple--must be in the zeitgeist):

Day 95 (I think). This is me looking relatively sane--In a woke-up-with-the-flu-feel-like-crap way.

Here I am a few minutes later looking slightly insane. I'd forgotten I had a purple beret. And I really was wearing two earrings. I swear:

Beret: $5; Scarf: $5; Jewelry: $7 and $7; White Stag sweater: $10; Chaus turtleneck: $8 (Sam's); Faded Glory boots: $23; Norma Kamali jeans: $15 Total: $80

I promise never to wear a matching beret and sweater again. They were just there. Really.

Have a brilliant week!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T00:04:00.000-06:00

These days have slipped away from me. Still sick, but Christmas happens anyway--and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I've been faithful about taking photos, and so will have lots to catch you up on in a couple days.

Sending you a thousand blessings--Laura

P.S. Here's our Nina Garcia to wish you a Merry Christmas!

Days 92-94: In Which I Get a Smidge Sentimental and Wear Red (Again)

2009-12-21T10:17:00.001-06:00

Day 92 was one of those lost days. Lost, as in never really got myself together, though I got a lot of things done. I started out by throwing on sweats and a hoodie and taking the boy to school, then wandering into Panera to work for a few hours.

Early on I thought I needed absolute aloneness to write. I lived on the farm in WV, with just a baby and a husband to demand my attention. We weren't geographically remote from town, but it was a psychic universe away from St Louis, the daily hustle of the Mega Beer Company and designer heels.

My office was the front upstairs bedroom that ran the width of our 1904 farmhouse. Every sound I made--scraping the chair across the wood floor, dropping a pencil, laughing aloud--echoed off of the bare, horsehair plaster walls and enormous windows. I had a comforting sense of all the people who had lived in that room before me. My daughter's room wasn't far away and I could hear her easily. A baby isn't really all that intrusive, unless she's crying or feeling particularly lonesome herself. I loved to write in that room, with its day bed and single rug from my mother-in-law's attic, the 1930s chiffarobe and lady's shallow dressing table/desk. I spent hours at a time in there, not even listening to music, but writing and writing.

One of the wonderful advantages/curses of being self-employed is the whole working-alone-in-jammies privilege. I wore a lot of sweatpants back then. I thought they were an expected part of the new baby package, plus it was just darned nice not to have to get terribly dressed every day. No one who ever came by actually cared about what I was wearing. They just wanted to hang out with the princess. Kind of a three strikes in the fashion department situation. I look back on it and think I just kind of gave up. Or maybe I was simply too overwhelmed with the newness of it all--a new baby and a new life-- to worry about clothes. Funny how one's dignity (and modesty) can take a long term hiatus once one has lain split open and for all purposes naked on a gurney in a room filled with strangers.

Do I sound sentimental? It's probably the Christmas season, or the fact that I have some fairly intense flu symptoms after getting my H1N1 shot on Friday. Bleh.

But I think it was the chaos at Panera that made me reflective about writing in a quiet space. There I was in my mismatched hoodie and sweatpants, my hair thoroughly unpresentable, ready to get to work. And I did work for several hours, despite the fact that everyone in town was there buying coffee and muffins at once. God bless my iPod. I almost feel alone when I have those earbuds in--it's my own private space. As for the clothes--It's not like I didn't occasionally get all schlubby in my pre-Walmart days. The sweats were just more expensive. It seemed everyone in town was buying coffee and muffins at once. The writing went very well until I got distracted by the lunch crowd. I fret if I'm taking up too much space, if some trio can't get a table because I couldn't find a two-top near a plug, if someone even glances at my open computer. (Oops, is my anxiety disorder showing?!) Finally, after I'd moved once so another person could have a plug, I gave up. It was just too much. The muse had fled about twenty minutes before I did.

I still like writing in the quiet. The house is almost always quiet when the boy is at school and the animals are lying about the floor. But when I'm home, I get distracted by the laundry/phone/blog/twitter/UPS/popcorn. It's a wonder I get any writing done at all!

So, no picture for Day 92. I never really did get photo-ready dressed, and was appalled to realize around 9 p.m. that I hadn't even washed my face. (Teeth, yes. Face, no.) Thank goodness my honey loves me even if I'm not photo-ready.

Day 93 Ensemble:

Ta-da! It was another red day. Now, I saw this sweater in gray on a woman on one of my airplanes last weekend and she was wearing it up around her neck with a white collar just peeking out (and askew, I might add). Don't know what was up with that. I definitely don't like how thin the sweater is and the way my, uh, breasts, are highlighted. Maybe it's not so evident in real life, but it's pretty darn obvious here. (Remember to NEVER wear a white bra beneath a black knit. If you have your picture taken, you'll see why. Nude doesn't really work either. Stick with a black bra.)

Nine West jeans (Sam's): $15.55 (I just re-checked the receipt); Faded Glory sweater: $10; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); earrings: $7; necklace $8; F'Uggs: $30

Total: about $74

Day 94:

Many thanks to my friend and fellow room mother, Eleanor Gillespie for taking this pic at the kids' Christmas party.

I was looking a little pale. Had to stint on the makeup so I would be there to have hot chocolate ready for the little darlings when they got back from caroling.

George sweater: $10; Calvin Klein cords: $17 (Sam's); Earth Spirit shoes: $30: Norma Kamali jacket: $20 (love this jacket--so glad it was 50 degrees outside); necklace: $8; earrings: $7; No Boundaries belt: $7; scarf: $5 (I would die without these scarves!)

Total: $104

Thanks for all the feedback on the plans for the blog--It helped a lot. Please do always let me know your thoughts about what you'd like to see/hear about.

Hope your day is full of blessings. Off to the Sam's satellite in mere minutes...

Day 91: Can A Girl Wear Red and Be Bored at the Same Time?

2009-12-17T11:30:00.001-06:00

[[[[yawn]]]]

I think I'm bored. Are you bored?

While I've told my share of fibs over the years, I am, generally speaking, appallingly honest. It's cost me friendships, messed with past jobs, and probably not been so helpful for my writing career. I tend to act impulsively and share too much--something I get from my mom (the sharing part). (See--even this is going to get me into trouble. It's okay, though. We always tease her about it. She loves personal stories--ours and others. Hm. Wonder how that affected me?) But it's not a particularly professional way for a fiction writer to behave.

Careers, images. They're careful constructs. (Let's all say "Tiger Woods" together, shall we?) Most artists (I use the term very loosely) keep their innermost selves intensely guarded--and for good reason. We're quivering mollusks inside our shells and so the peeks at our innards need to be brief and structured. Emotional overexposure--and this counts for all people, not just artists--can be a dangerous, costly thing. I don't think this will surprise anyone. The difference between artists is the degree to which they protect themselves. Tiger Woods = Astronomical Self-Protection (okay, cut the snickering!), Me = Not So Much.

So it's with some trepidation that I tell you how I'm feeling about my Walmart adventure. Feeling is a good thing, I think. Feeling is critical, I hear, to being an actual human.

I'm feeling conflicted and weary at the same time. I wonder if it's not that I'm bored, but that I've adapted. The human capacity for adaptability is stunning, and is one of our greatest gifts.

I didn't really expect this project to be about personal transformation. Seriously--who would ever start such an apparently ridiculous project in order to experience transformation. As I've mentioned before, I'm coming to see that clothes do not "make the man," so to speak. They might make the far-off view of the man a little more pleasant or interesting or off-putting or whatever. But there's a heck of a lot more at play when it comes to how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.

Just a few characteristics to consider: gender, body image, physiology, attitude, race, social status, intelligence, faith (or lack thereof), childhood, education, attitudes....So many variables knit together to make up the various view of who we are.

Forgive the abrupt tone change, but if I start exploring all these now, I'll be here for months. So. Many things to think about. I'm not bored anymore.

Are there things you'd like me to address here? Questions you want to ask? Sharing is one of my specialties, you know!

Tuesday's ensemble:

Ah, yes. One of my four RL cotton sweaters. They're so handy, so comfy. Inevitably, when I where one, someone says, "Ralph Lauren at Walmart? I don't think so." And then I have to explain the whole Sam's connection. Frankly, I don't know that I could have done this project for three months trying to get by on Walmart purchases exclusively. I would have had to resort to costuming. No, really. There's too much cognitive dissonance between the person I am inside and what I wear on the outside if I have to wear clothes that 1) I dislike instensely and 2) Violate every style rule I've learned in forty-something years. The whole style-rule thing is critical here. I suppose I could have limited myself to the mothership from the beginning--but I would have known the answer to my primary question (see blog title above) before I even started.

Sam's Club is....Um, I'm not going to write about Sam's today. I have much to say and am even going there this afternoon for some non-clothing supplies. Soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Ralph Lauren sweater: $21; Nine West jeans: $18; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30

Total: $76

Have a blessed rest of the day. And if you're not Google-following me, I hope you will. I love to know who's along for the ride!

Day 90: On the Road

2009-12-17T01:00:00.001-06:00

Monday was an airplane day. There was absolutely no time at all to wander by the fabulous Chicopee, MA Walmart. I really, really wanted to drop by, but it wasn't meant to be. My box of Norma Kamali goodies should arrive tomorrow, testing the mettle of my favorite UPS man. I'm sure he's up to the job.

God bless my GPS. Tired as I was from the weekend's festivities, I'm glad I didn't freak out when the GPS guided me the back way through the Berkshires to Hartford. Such peaceful, rolling scenery. I felt lucky to see the villages and historic homes decorated for Christmas, Norman Rockwell-style. Saw lots of geese flying south, and many, many people driving around with Christmas trees tied to the tops of their Subarus and Land Rovers.

I've been a bit of a slacker with the photos. I'd hoped to snap one as soon as I got dressed, but I had to take my DH back to campus before I left town. I simply can't imagine why she wanted to stay in the hotel rather than her dorm....

So I did manage to gather my clothes together, at least, on Monday night.

The ensemble:

The sweater and the pants are the two new Norma pieces that I couldn't wait to wear. The sweater is a fine gauge cotton, so it's not exactly warm--but it is long. The pants are a knit, styled like jeans. Love the cut, love the flare, love the way they fit. It would've been nice, though, if they'd put actual pockets in the front rather than stitching that looks like pockets. Odd. The necklaces are new, too. I think they're fine--they contrast nicely as a pair, and the tunic-length sweater screams for a long necklace. Love the all-black silhouette and the way the sweater falls to mid-calf. I felt very tall.

Norma Kamali sweater: $15; NK athletic jeans (something like that): $15; White Stag necklaces: $7 each; George blouse: $12; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 Total: $79

Oh, and I did wear the brown/gold scarf for much of the day. Very cozy on the plane. You've probably seen enough of those scarves. I have five or six or seven of them. (Clair, they are all Walmart--Eye accessories are my only exception)

Tomorrow (today?) I'm off to Sam's to see what's what. Not hopeful. Am expecting more piles of the same old stuff. I guess I'll have to wait for spring to see some new things on the tables. *sigh*

Have a fabulous day!

Days 88 and 89: While I Was Off to Massachusetts

2009-12-15T23:17:00.001-06:00

Let me say right off that I take my sworn mission to embarrass my children as much as possible very seriously. It's a sacred duty. And yet I feel I was not the success I might have been this past weekend while I was visiting my daughter at college.

How fun it would have been to declare--or at least quietly mention--my humble Walmart/Sam's Club clothing project to my darling's college crew. But she suggested, nay, begged me not to reveal a single detail of the origins of my clothes. Many denizens of college campuses are Walmart haters, and I really don't want to make her life hard. I got the impression that she believed she would have been ridden down the hill on a long, nail-studded rail if her friends ever found out what I was up to. So, no matter how silly I thought she was being about it, I kept my mouth shut.

There were a couple of awkward moments--the most memorable was our trip to the fabulous Prime Outlet mall that's about a half hour from school. I had to traipse through Eddie Bauer, Nine West, Cole-Haan, Michael Kors, and J.Crew stores, pretending all the while that I was breathing poisonous air and had to get out quickly just so I wouldn't hyperventilate with clothing-envy. I was a little tense because one of my DD's friends was with us. It helped that I could concentrate on looking for clothes, etc for my DD and so didn't even think to buy anything for myself. But there were many, many things that tempted me.

The good news is that the campus was full of teenagers and my head could've been on fire all day and not one of them would have noticed because it wouldn't directly affect them.

So, Saturday's ensemble:

The embarrassing thing about this ensemble was that the sweater was so long that it hung far below my black leather Calvin Klein jacket. That really bugged DD. Me, not so much.

Ensemble: White Stag necklace: $5; Norma Kamali Sweater: $20; George turtleneck: $10; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Faded Glory Boots: $23; Scarf: $5 Total: $78

Sunday night:

Love this necklace! Found it in St Louis. $8; Nine West Jeans: $17: Earrings: $7 Scarf: $5; 525 Sweater Co (Sam's Club) $17.95; Earth Spirit Shoes: $30 Total: $84.95

The Cords are super-comfy and I do like the mix of the fuschia with unexpected colors like beige and copper. We won't talk about how DD wore the black tank that I was supposed to wear beneath that sweater.

Further adventures to follow tomorrow!

The Three-Month Celebration Gifties Announcement!

2009-12-15T12:30:00.001-06:00

Thank you, my dears, for all the wonderful, encouraging comments. I wish I could give every one of you a prize!

Here are the randomly selected winners of my sort-of contest:

$25 Walmart Gift Card--Carmar (Carrie)

Two copies of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover--Liana Brooks

Big, Yummy Stack of Holiday Books--Julie DD

If you're a winner, please drop me an email at laura@laurabenedict.com with your snail mail addy so I can ship your giftie to you!

(Now I have to start making secret plans for the six-month mark!)

Day 87: In Which I Totally Hit the Motherload

2009-12-13T00:07:00.001-06:00

Friday was a long day. It began at 4:20 a.m.--two hours earlier than my usual weekday morning--and didn't end until about twenty hours later. I won't bore you with all the gruesome travel details, except to tell you that the sprawling Atlanta airport gets more pleasant every time I connect through it (though I don't understand why they number their gates from the END of the terminal instead of from the center, like most other airports--I realized this almost too late as I started to stroll my way to gate A3 with my Au Bon Pain sandwich, only to discover I had to run a half-marathon to get there before the plane boarded), and that I wish people whose feet smell like rotten cheese would keep their shoes on in the airplane.

When I arrived in Hartford, Connecticut, I rented a car to drive the hour or so to my DD's school. But you know I didn't go straight to campus. I had to stop at the mothership, first.

Note that I didn't say "nearest" mothership. See, I've become quite the WM connoisseur. I was in search of Norma Kamali and Max Azria pieces, and it required homework.

There's no easy way to find out which WMs carry the lines. First, I have to google map the motherships in the area in which I'm traveling. Then, I have to figure out which of those stores carried the brands. The easiest way to do it is to look up NK clothes on Walmart.com, put in a specific size, and a zip code. Usually the search offers up a "Limited Stock" message. This message is troubling. It usually means that someone (like me) has returned a piece of clothing to the mothership that was bought online and now it sits, lonely, on some random rack. They often have no other NK or Max Azria clothes at all. I admire the whole "find it in the store" button on the website, but it's very misleading.

There were four possible WMs on my route, but the one in Chicopee, MA seemed most promising.

Now I know where all the Norma Kamali clothes in the WM world live!

I was a madwoman. I was obsessed. I spent a very intense forty-five minutes flinging the clothes in my cart and then trying them on in the fitting room. And I did it while I was en route to visit my sweet daughter at school. After I'd gotten up at 4:20 that morning to drive to St. Louis to catch a plane. Madness!

But look what I'm shipping home:

Yes, it's a whole Queen bed full of Norma Kamali yummy goodness! There is not one thing I bought that I had already seen in St. Louis, where I usually get my NK goodies.

So, do you think it was so well-stocked because Norma herself lives in the Berkshires? Hm. I kinda doubt it, too.

Someone who knows me well needs to tell me that there's no way I have time to stop back by the Chicopee Walmart on the way to the airport on Monday. Because I don't, but I'm obsessed, and I'd like to try.

I did make one small change in my travel clothes as a result of my find--I'm switching out the jeans and sweater I'd planned to wear home on the plane for a new sweater and comfier pants.

No picture from Friday. By the time I remembered it, it was midnight. I was not feeling at all Witty, Pretty, and Bright.

Be sure to comment on your favorite/least favorite ensemble from the last three (!) months to win the books or the giftcard I announced on the blog earlier this week! Do it before noon on Monday, okay?

Hope you're having a terrific weekend full of new discoveries!

Days 85 and 86: The Traveling Two-fer

2009-12-10T23:53:00.001-06:00

Black, white, gray. Seems to be a continuing theme.

When did black become the ultimate travel color? Seems to me I don't recall many black traveling suits or cruisewear in films of the 1930s, 40s, and 50s. Black is, of course, stupidly practical. And everyone is now convinced that it's slimming. Though well thought-out, attractively tailored ensembles of any color will do that. And please, please, please, make sure any black separates you're wearing are at least somewhat matched to one another....Not as easy as one might think.

I blame the eighties and its ridiculous Power Suits for women. Yes, back in the day, women used to imagine that if they dressed like men, it would make everyone feel better about their coming in and sitting behind big desks. There is something to be said for costuming oneself, of course, which leads us to artists and the arts. Artists of all sorts--from writers to photographers to painters--effect black as a symbol of non-conformity. How ironic that almost everyone is pretending to be non-conformist these days. But, wait. Doesn't that make them the conformists?*

The sad thing about the color black is that I can't get it to look decent in a standard snapshot.

Anyway, without further ado.....

Tuesday's ensemble:

I thought I'd wear the NK Snow Trees shirt since so may folks said they liked it. It is VERY comfy. You can tell it was a stay-at- home day.

Faded Glory sweater: $20; That Damn Necklace $7; Earrings: $7; Norma Kamali tee: $12; Faded Glory Jeans: $15 Total: $71

Wednesday's ensemble:

To the Max Shirt: $3 (clearance); Jones NY pants: $18; Miley Cyrus/Max Azria Vest $14; White Stag necklace: $7--already broken : ( ; Faded Glory riding boots: $23; Earrings: $3 Total: $68

Hope your travels are happy today. See you Saturday. Remember to pick out your favorite/least favorite ensemble and comment to win books, books, and a WM gift card this week!

*Melanie Griffith image from image.toutlecine.com

Day 84: Is There Another Word for Eeeeeeeeeee?

2009-12-09T19:36:00.000-06:00

I'm trying not to hyperventilate.

Friday morning I have to catch a plane to go and visit my daughter at her fancy-pants Up East college for the weekend. DD does not particularly approve of my WM project. Most teens are hyper-sensitive when it comes to others' opinions of them--and, worse, of their parents. Any Author Girl event seems like cake compared to this upcoming weekend.

If it were summer or even early fall, I could fudge a bit: I have a couple of cute transitional skirts and there's always my Norma Kamali jersey and black French terry stuff. And it would all fit in my spiffy, hard-sided, pink carry-on.

But DD just informed me that they were blessed with many inches of snow. Where are my luscious, knee-high, classic, black leather snow boots bought in a sweet Michigan boutique? Why, they're in my mudroom, of course, where they must stay. And my Dale of Norway sweaters? On my closet shelf. And my cosy shearling coat? *sob* I don't deserve any pity, I know. I've brought this all on myself.

Sure, I could bundle up in blue jeans, a Green Tea hoodie, and my new shoveling-the-driveway WM snow boots and hop on the plane. There's no shame in it. But this is a challenge, damn it! The question is: Is this a challenge I'm willing to freeze my butt off for? The good news is that I'll be in the car or on an airplane for most of two days. The bad news is that I'll be stomping around campus for the other two days. (Actually, that's kind of good news, too, because I'll be there with my baby girl!)

Am I over-thinking this? I'm seeing lots and lots of black clothing in my future. Layer upon layer of it. Upon layer.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Monday's ensemble:

I'm a little bummed that this is today's pic. Kind of depressing. I'm not fond of this sweater. It's acrylic-y, and makes me feel like a linebacker with a Twinkie addiction. I like the necklace, though.

Faded Glory sweater: $12; To the Max jeans: $16; White Stag necklace: $7; F'Uggs (Sam's): $30; Earrings: $7 Total: $72

So, did you weigh in on your favorite/least favorite ensemble for the fabu prizes I announced yesterday?

Day 83: The Almost-Three-Month Celebration Giveaway, and Me in Black. Again.

2009-12-08T09:38:00.001-06:00

On Monday, the fourteenth of December, the Wardrobe by Sam blog will be three months old. Which means I've been wearing only Walmart and Sam's Club clothes for, yes, three months.

I think this is a reason to celebrate. I'm having fun doing this, and learning a lot of new things--not the least of which is that nearly all the employees of Walmart I've met are lovely, hardworking folks who are good at their jobs.

More significantly, I've been overwhelmed by the support you all have given me. That you would take the time to be a part of this--to share your own stories and laugh and commiserate with me--just blows me away. THANK YOU!

This is a contest that's not really a contest. All you need to do is to tell me which of my ensembles is your favorite or least favorite, and why. That's it! And you can provide your answer/entry on the original post or any post between now and Sunday.

Prizes:

I'm a writer, so you get books! Mostly.

First drawing will be for a big stack of fun holiday and event-themed books, including John Grisham's "Skipping Christmas." For the faint of heart who might worry that I would only give away horror novels, don't fret--they're all on the cozy side, perfectly appropriate for hot-chocolate, by-the-fire reading.

The second drawing is for two copies of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (one for you and one for a friend). This might seem a random kind of prize, but we love Dave Ramsey at the Benedict house. He'll get you out of debt and on to saving money in a way that will change your life. And one thing this project has taught me is that one can buy a LOT of clothes for very little money and not put a single sock on a Visa card.

Third drawing--and you knew this was coming. A $25 Walmart gift card!

So take five minutes and ponder the extravaganza of ensembles--then comment. It's easy! Please do make sure there's some way I can contact you if you win....

And on to Sunday's ensemble:

I know. Two scarves in two days. I have six or seven scarves, all in surprising, pleasant colors. And they cover a multitude of sins. Plus, they dress up all-black, boring ensembles like nothing else.

Scarf: $5; Earrings:$12; White Stag sweater: $10; George turtleneck: $10; Calvin Klein cords: $17; No Boundaries belt: $8; Boots: $23 Total: $85

Now, go, my dears. Comment!

Day 82: In Which I Look Like My Mom, and Have Hair Issues

2009-12-07T23:40:00.001-06:00

When I venture out into the world disguised as an author girl, the question I'm most frequently asked is**: "You look like such a nice person. How can you write such, uh, disturbing things in your novels?" It's true that my stories are often horrific, and I often wonder what readers imagine I might look like before they meet me.

Maybe I should look more like Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein: spooky and plain, yet mysterious. While it's true that I do wear a lot of black these days, I'm styling myself much more like the proverbial soccer mom or my own mom than a writer of scary stuff. I confess that this is not necessarily by choice.

Here's my Saturday ensemble:

I have issues with my hair, here. It's so...coiffed. There was a brief period in 1987 when I was really concerned about having tidy hair, but I got over it. But I'm in that awkward, maybe-growing-my-hair-out stage, and so am frustrated. I have to make a decision soon about whether to stick with short or go a few inches longer.

What face shape do you have? Because my face is broad and squarish, I have to have a little something going on above my forehead to keep my unusually large head from looking ponderous. A bit of fluff or interest on top keeps things perky, and helps to de-emphasize my strong jawline.

There's a clever trick to find out what your face shape is: stand in front of your bathroom mirror and trace the outline of your face with lipstick (have I told you this before?). I think the choices are oval, inverted triangle, square, heart-shaped. Then research accordingly. Oh, and when you've found the right style and color for you, remember that you can match your purse/computer bag/luggage to your hair color--then you'll always be coordinated to something you're wearing.

Back to the ensemble:

I think it's because this jacket looks quilted that I feel like my mom in it. That's not necessarily a bad thing--I do have the cutest parents in the world and my mom has great taste. But I'm always startled when my daughter says: "Grandma would buy/wear that," when I pick something up to show her.

Fortunately, the jacket was nice and warm when we went to the Christmas parade in town. Though the gloves were on the thin side.

Calvin Klein coat: $49 (Sam's Club); Gloves: $2; Nine West jeans: $17 (Sam's); Izod sweater: $17 (Sam's); Josephine Chaus turtleneck: $8; Faded Glory faux F'Uggs: $23 (must shoot pic for you); Scarf: $5; Earrings: $7 Total: $128

Tomorrow: I'm going to announce my first Wardrobe by Sam giveaway. I'm excited!

**Actually, if I'm signing in a bookstore, the primary question is "Where's the bathroom?"

Days 80 and 81: A Maybe and a Whole Bunch of Don't Think So's

2009-12-06T23:54:00.000-06:00

I was talking with a friend tonight about my process of returning things to Walmart. It's a numbers game. When one buys as many clothes and accessories there as I do, one is bound to have a lot of returns.

I have a system. I keep all of my Walmart receipts in one plastic envelope, categorized by date. When I need to return something, I have a pretty good idea of where the receipt is in the pile. So I take out the receipt, match it to the item, and put them both together in a handy plastic Walmart bag. I think the most I've ever shown up at the desk with is seven bags. I've gotten pretty good at sliding by the greeter and going straight to customer service without getting waylaid. My stuff often ends up being way more complicated than the poor greeter can handle. It's better for everyone this way.

My friend said, "Oh, you're that person," she said.

It's true. I'm that person. The one you want to yell at when you just have a single out-of-date box of Luna Bars to return, and your sweetheart's waiting in the car feeling not so sweet.

Forgive me. Please. Sometimes I shop too quickly, sometimes I'm overly optimistic. Either way, I'm at the return desk weekly. I'll try to confine myself to Tuesday mornings at 8:45.....

Here are some losers that I don't wear--mostly because they're too dull or frumpy:

George skirt: $5 (clearance $12) Too office-ish. A smidge too long to be stylish.

White Stag: $7 (clearance $10) Not as shiny as it looks here. Feels like a polyester maternity shirt to me.

George black sheath: $16 One of my very first purchases. Not too bad on--a little shapeless for my taste. Still, would look good beneath a jacket or with pearls or with a pale blue or ivory cashmere sweater.

White Stag: $7 Eggplant. Shapeless. 'Nuf said. Maaaaaaaybe next summer with a cotton skirt.

Norma Kamali dress: $20 Cranberry. Looks dreadful on the hanger, but it's a wonderful dress. It's the same dress as this one: (Me, on the right)

I've been trying to decide what to do with the clothes I can't return (for whatever reason). Women's Shelter, maybe? They're all pretty classic and brand new--just the thing for job interviews.

I had somewhat better luck on Friday:

Jewel tones!

Don't ask me what that bizarre reflection on my sweater is....

George blouse: $12; White Stage Sweater: $10; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; No Boundaries Belt: $7; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Shoes: $30 Total: $88

Love the odd color combination, but I don't like the acrylic (of course!)

More later!

Day 79: Live From the Walmart Ladies' Room

2009-12-04T07:15:00.001-06:00

Wednesday was one of those days when I really had to get moving first thing in the morning. I had laid out my workout clothes before I went to bed and went straight to the exercise bike after I made the boy's lunch and breakfast. The church Christmas party I was working on was to happen at six in the evening, and I had hopes of getting some writing done in between party tasks. But the writing never happened.

After a quick brekky on campus with my DH, I was off to the mothership in my workout clothes. I had a list with five things to buy on it. I was there ninety minutes. My DH and I discussed this. From now on, if he doesn't hear from me after I've been in Walmart for an hour, he is going to call me. It's not that I worry that I'm being mind-controlled by the music, or anything like that--even though I do sometimes come to full consciousness while standing in, say, the toothpaste aisle, and find myself holding some pseudo-magical dentifrice I wouldn't even think to buy if I were in my right mind. I'm just ADHD/ distractable and can't take my Adderall because it messes up my writing. (Sorry, I cover that sort of thing on my other blog.)

I've been wondering what I could use for a hat on those days when I don't have time to shower and do my hair. So I recently bought a couple of berets because I couldn't bring myself to buy a NASCAR or SIU ball cap at the mothership.

Here's how I looked for my shopping trip (no makeup--don't look too closely, please...my photo-editing software is limited):

Clever how I bought a brown beret to go with my casual Sam's club fleece, huh?

If you see me in this outfit on People of Walmart.com, please don't tell me. Be kind. (Finish reading the blog, then go spend a hilarious hour on the P of W.com site. Laughter is sooooo good for you!)

Ensemble:

Beret: $5; Fleece jacket: $30 (I think.) (Sam's Club); L.E.I. pajama shorts: $12; Laura Ashley ls tee: $8 (Sam's); Danskin shoes: $20: Earrings: $7 (I'm not a total slob!)

Things improved later in the day. I needed to wear something I could finish decorating in, and that would be comfy for serving food and herding youngsters. But it had to be festive. I know what you're thinking..."She's going to wear one of those tacky Christmas sweatshirts with snowmen or blinking reindeer noses to the party!"

Something like this?

Nope. I have, in my life, owned Christmas sweaters. Some of them quite expensive and awfully cute. But I won't be wearing any this year, I think.

This is an outfit I wore at Bouchercon. Very comfortable, and even better now that I've accessorized it with Miss Nina.

Ensemble:

Norma Kamali pants: $15; George cami: $7; sweater: $17 (Sam's); Red rubber boots: $25 (took $12 George loafer pumps to change into); Pearls: $18; Earrings: $5 Total: $87

Must go iron things so that later I won't have to leave the house in pajama shorts and a beret!

Day 78: Let's All Sing, "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night..."

2009-12-03T13:23:00.000-06:00

If I were a brave woman, I'd show you a picture of my poor laundry room. I used to pride myself on my one-load-a-day habit. But I'm afraid my pride has been swallowed by two baskets of dirty laundry and one full of clothes I can't wear until next September. Then there's all the stuff that needs to be ironed hanging on the rack. Help! Now, when I pass the laundry room, I make sure I'm looking straight ahead--If I don't see it, maybe it isn't really there....

I spent Tuesday in unphotographable workout clothes. Okay. So the clothes were photographable--I, however, was not. But then I had to go to help decorate the church for last night's Christmas extravaganza (Awesome, fun party, btw--you know it's a success when a totally adorable, pink-cheeked moppet with black ringlets spends caroling time running in circles around the room, then throws up because she's so pumped!)

What to wear?! It was about 45 degrees outside and I needed something comfy. All but a single pair of jeans were in the laundry. No warm sweaters to speak of. I'd bought a long-sleeve version of the Norma Kamali long, black terry jacket (not quite a dress) last weekend in St. Louis, and I thought it would be comfy enough with something under it. But the jacket was not cute with flared jeans. Black terry and denim? Not quite. So I pulled out some black leggings.

I could've gotten away with the jacket and leggings if the jacket were maybe three or four inches longer. Or if I were on Real Trashy Housewives of Southern Illinois. Or if I were fourteen.

Panic set in. What to do?! Well, I grabbed black terry shorts. Yes. I did. It was a risky move, I know, layering those shorts over the tights. But I did it. And then I put on my F'Uggs and went to church!

I was running late, so I had to take the photo when I got home. Thus the sunglasses....

Black boots would have been a better choice. But given that I was wearing shorts, I figured "what the hell--might as well be comfy."

Ensemble:

Norma Kamali Jacket: $11 (clearance from $18); Norma Kamali leggings: $10; Norma Kamali shorts: $10; Norma Kamali Tee: $10; F'Uggs (Sam's Club): $30; That Damn Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7

Total: $85

I spent Wednesday running around in a beret. Hope the phone photo I took in the Walmart bathroom comes out okay.

**An Author Girl aside: If you want to give a signed copy of one of my books (or one of Pinckney's), send it to me and it will get signed--then I'll send it back to you (or to whomever it's for) and even pay media mail return postage. (With two you get gift wrap!) Details at my Notes From the Handbasket blog.

Have a blessed day!

Day 77: The Off-White of Things, and an Early Christmas Present

2009-12-02T11:53:00.001-06:00

Off-white is definitely in my Summer color palette. I've always loved warm shades of white: ivory, pearls, orchids, white roses, raw silk. For a while I wanted to look like Linda Evans so often did on Dynasty--vulnerable, soft, and ahem innocent.

In the past weeks, my color choices have been very, very limited. These days I can wear a somewhat broader palette than I could even five or ten years ago, throwing in some red or vibrant blues. But I have to use strong colors carefully. If they're not well presented or done in the right fabric (how many times have you seen unfortunate turquoise satin, or a poorly dyed black sweater?), they look cheap.

Did you ever have one of those days when you just wanted to feel really good in your clothes? All of last week's holiday preparations left me feeling weary and a little flour-spattered. And when I'm working a lot, it's a chore to plan my outfits.

On Monday, I had no particular place to go except for the usual child-toting/grocery store errands. But I was very tired of all my black and gray clothes. So I brought out the whites. I wish the mothership would carry more attractive winter white pieces--it would be very encouraging over the coming looooong months.

This is what I came up with:

The bottom picture is with a bomber jacket and one of my favorite scarves. I'm not thrilled with the sweater-longer-than-the-coat thing. But I guess all the kids are doing it.

While I dislike acrylic clothes, the sweater is still nice and soft. I enjoyed wearing it. The longer necklaces I bought are helping, too. I felt pretty good at the end of the day.

Ensemble:

White Stag Ruffle cardigan: $15; George satin-trimmed tank: $7; Nine West Jeans: $15; Shoes: $15: Scarf: $5; Earrings: $35; Necklace: $7

I'm planning a pre-Christmas surprise present....stay tuned!

Day 76:Baby, It's Cold Outside

2009-12-01T22:10:00.001-06:00

Have I mentioned that I'm a tad obsessed with coats? I think I get it from my mom. My guess is that she currently has at least seven or eight coats. Last week, when she said she'd found me a brown, medium Calvin Klein down jacket at Sam's Club to replace the black one I'd bought here (black was my second choice), I offered the black one to her. She said, "no thank you." And that she already had two black winter jackets. Or maybe it was three.

My mom has great taste in coats. When I was just out of college and had gone to work for A Big Corporation, she bought me a coat for Christmas. At the time, my style was random and occasionally collegiate, with mad dashes to the Land of Oddly Inappropriate. The coat she selected for me was brown tweed, with a long, slender, vaguely military silhouette. The collar stood up beneath my chin and the length was mid-calf. To be more specific, I might call the color Tobacco. It would have looked fabulously Victorian with a tidy mink muff.

I liked the coat a lot. Mostly because it seemed sophisticated and grown-up to me. But here's how I knew it was a truly awesome coat: There was a guy in my office--let's call him Greg--wait, that's his real name. Let's call him Chad. So Chad sees me in the coat and says, "That's a beautiful coat. Someone must have bought it for you. There's no way you picked it out." I never could figure out why he disliked me so much or was always so rude to me. Then again, he was definitely a snob and was never particularly nice to anyone.

In a way, he was right. I didn't know all that much about dressing myself. Even at twenty-three, I was still big into experimenting with my look.

Here are two of my very favorite coats:

This is a lambskin leather stroller that my DH bought me seven or eight years ago from Frances Kahn, a yummy boutique in Roanoke, VA. You can see it's nicely softened with wear. I've sent it off to be cleaned and conditioned twice, and it has a small triangular tear near the placket. Any self-respecting fashionista would've handed it off long ago--but if people can treasure 1960s motorcycle jackets, why shouldn't I treasure my leather? It does have a detachable fur-trimmed hood. I've never been a big fur wearer, and I'm not sure what animal the fur came from. Still, I love wearing the coat--even if now it's just to pick up the kids or go to the grocery store. Strollers come down to about mid-thigh, a great length for me. And this coat has no waist issues.

Here's my other favorite, bought to replace the stroller for cold-weather, fashion wear:

Now that I see this coat in a photo, I can see how reminiscent it is of the tweed coat my mom bought me all those years ago. Funny.

I've always wanted an extravagant shearling coat. For a long time, I thought I should have a western-looking one: light tan, with big, white, fuzzy lapels and cuffs. Something to wear with blue jeans and boots. While it would still be kind of fun to have one of those for play days, this coat is more my style. Wish I could give you a better picture of the color. You can look at the pretty pictures of the other ones at Mill Valley Sheepskin and Leather, where I bought this one.

I will wear this coat forever, I expect. Or forever and a winter, because it's not getting worn this winter--more's the pity.

My latest purchase:

And me in it (will stop shooting in the green hallway--not a good place for photos):

It's not very heavy, so I don't know how warm it will be. And the fauxfur sticks up in a funky way, reminding me of this guy:

It could be a few inches longer, but I do like the jacket's tailored shape, zippered pockets and the detachability of the hood. Plus, it was under $50.

Calvin Klein Down Jacket: $49.95 (Sam's Club)

Do you have a favorite coat or jacket that you will never surrender to the Fashion Police? Hope you're staying cozy!

Days 73 and 74: One Bad Photo, One Weird Photo, and Lots of Dishes

2009-11-29T06:15:00.001-06:00

I promise I'm not fishing for compliments, here. But this has not been a great week for photographs and outfit assemblage. Maybe it's the holiday chaos. No matter how far in advance I plan menus, etc., I'm always rinsing out dusty wine glasses or changing toilet paper rolls in the guest bath as people come up our driveway.

Or, perhaps it's the cold. On Friday we had our first truly hard freeze. All four begonia pots hanging along our front porch eaves were coated with a sheen of frosty ice--as were the tall coneflowers I fussed over in the garden yesterday afternoon.

Or, maybe it's that I'm still craving carbs like a bunny bulking up for winter. Makes me feel puffy and sluggish. Carbs are meant to do that. Penal and educational institutions are always pumping inmates full of pasta and sugar to keep them calm.

Here's some good news, though. The sky is revealed through winter's naked trees. The moon came up amber Thanksgiving night, like it was full of honey. No matter who you are, someone out there loves you. And me.

Our Thanksgiving was full of food and funny stories and hugs and smiles and only a little mutual aggression between Scout and Nina Garcia, the kitten. It was also full of wine. And in the food category, much pie--Chocolate Pecan (recipe is on my FB page) and Pumpkin. I'm changing my crust recipe back to the one King Arthur Flour put out over a decade ago, though. The one I got off of their website last year isn't short enough (too little shortening/fat), and was tough, rather than flaky. Christmas has its own significance, of course, but I love the simplicity at the heart of Thanksgiving.

Since I'm feeling all mellow at the moment, I should probably go ahead and post this grisly pic now. It's what I get for taking my daily pic ten hours after getting dressed, cooking most of the day, and doing three loads of dishes. (I had fabulous help for the cooking and washing parts, thank goodness!)

Goodness only knows where my makeup went, and you'd think I would've learned not to wear large blocks of color on my torso after Monday's fiasco. But at least my dishes are pretty. We used our Portmerion flower pattern everyday for fifteen years, until my dear WV hubby decided we should have Fiestaware, which is so beautifully colorful and, coincidentally, made in West Virginia.

I prefer the turtleneck minus four pounds of me and with the black v-neck over it (from early Nov.).

Ensemble:

George turtleneck: $10; Norma Kamali black career pants: $15; Earth Spirit shoes: $30; White Stag necklace: $7; Earrings: $7

Friday was crisp and cool after the freeze. Not being a Black Friday shopper, I was thrilled to be home all day with the pets. Could happily have stayed in exercise sweats, but I was determined to get one decent photo this week. Plus, I work better when I'm dressed, don't you?

Here, Hrothgar and I share an outdoor moment away from grumpy Scout and the kitten. And I liked this pic because it's kind of weird and shows how long and slim my nose is. (It's not like I'd change it to make it smaller--waaaaay too painful. Ew. And, ew--I would never do that.)

Ensemble:

George blouse: $12 (poly/cotton--icky); Faded Glory sweater: $10; To the Max jeans: $17; Shoes: $20; Earrings: $12; Necklace $8 Total: $79

Thank you so much for reading--I've loved hearing that you're enjoying the blog. I know it's time-consuming to check in, so your encouragement means all that much more to me.

See you Monday!

Day 75: Six Pounds, Four Ralphs, and That's Enough On Both Counts

2009-11-28T14:36:00.003-06:00

Why is this woman smiling?

I haven't the faintest freaking idea, because she's gained a solid six pounds since the days just preceding Halloween. I know. As my darling husband says every time I whine about my weight, "No one wants to hear the skinny girl complain that she's fat!"

Okay. I'll buy that. But I am exceedingly distressed that, with each passing day, I'm feeling ever more thankful for that hint of spandex in my $15 and $18 blue jeans. Also, muffin tops are hardly photogenic. I'm having a hard time posing so that you can't see that the non-genetic reason I have very little waist is that I can't keep my paws off the chocolate, chips, and Decaf Mocha, Extra Hot with Whip, Non-Fat Cappucinos (I get the whip to make up for the non-fat, of course). I'm getting old, I know, and I shouldn't still be obsessing about this weight thing. It's such a curse. When I'm a hundred and four and in the nursing home, I'll probably be the lady asking for the tummy-control support hose. How sad.

I've mentioned before (ad nauseum, I'm sorry) that this is a weather-related tendency I have. Cold weather makes me want to slather myself in chocolate and Lay's chips and hide in a cave. Could there be any better proof of our physical connection to our environment and the universe as a whole? I'm still no better than a raccoon. But now I'm thinking that this year's impressive record (it was only five pounds last fall) means we might be in for a rough winter. Take heed!

In other news....

I now own four--count 'em FOUR--Ralph Lauren zip, v-neck sweaters from Sam's Club. There have been times in my life I've bought duplicates of things I really like, but this is definitely a new record. The new black one is pictured above. Here are the others:

Today's ensemble:

RL Sweater: $23; Faded Glory Jeans: $15; L.E.I. Shoes: $20; Earrings: $8; Necklace: $12

That's quite enough for today, don't you think?

{This post was scheduled to go up Monday. Don't know why it posted already. Days 73 and 74 will be up on Sunday.}

Days 71 and 72: Tomato Sauce, Turkey, That Pesky L-Tryptophan, and A Recipe

2009-11-27T18:11:00.001-06:00

Given the disaster that was Day 70's sweater, I can't believe I left it on my front page for more than 48 hours. I'm blaming food-induced coma, laced with panic. Three days' worth.

On Tuesday, I made our family's favorite Cincinnati chili recipe. It was one of those delightfully "clothes-optional" days, and so I felt free to be casual. The outdoor temperatures have been unseasonably warm of late, but I put on a new George turtleneck with my pumpkin hoodie, blue jeans and my F'Uggs. (Quote from DD: "Let me feel the inside of those. They feel just like real Uggs." Funny girl. She, of course, was wearing the $150 version at the time. Think I can save $120 replacing them with F'Uggs in the future? Right. I don't think so, either.) I had to do all of our Thanksgiving shopping as well, so I hied myself off to Walmart, the mothership, and battled other late shoppers for cans of evaporated milk, pumpkin, and broccoli heads. I was way overdressed for the weather, and regretted my cozy ensemble all the way there and back. When I got home, I divested myself of the hoodie and started tossing chili ingredients into the dutch oven.

And that's why I'm posing here in my Sam's raincoat. I splashed tomato sauce all over my new turtleneck.

I like that I look thoughtful here, and smarter than I probably am. A stylish trench hides many sins, don't you think?

Ensemble:

White Stag turtleneck (100% cotton): $6; Faded Glory jeans: $15; London Fog trenchcoat: $29 (Sam's Club); Earrings: $7 Total: $57

Wednesday was a major food prep day, plus my folks arrived. Lots of cleaning as well as cooking. Let's not discuss the random sweats and socks I wore for most of the day. Not pretty. I did manage to get dressed for the parental arrival and our visit to our favorite bar-b-que restaurant.

I'm liking the new, longer necklaces I bought recently. They add a little spark to otherwise plain outfits. This one is silver with silver leaves spaced over its length. My mom commented that she liked the blue jeans very much. I just wish I could find another simple black v-neck to replace this cotton one. The black is fading with every wash and the knit is too light for winter.

Ensemble:

George blouse: $3 (clearance); George cotton sweater: $3 (clearance); Nine West jeans: $18; George loafer pumps: $12; White Stag necklace: $7; Earrings: $7 Total: $50

Can't wait to model my new Calvin Klein down coat that I my mom brought from another Sam's Club--they were out of dark brown/medium coats around here. She's a brilliant shopper!

Here's the recipe for the chili we all love (feel free to pour your tomato sauce more carefully than I did). Crimespree Magazine also published it last year (Issue #29).

Cincinnati Chili

1 to 1.5 pounds ground beef, browned

Add:

1 can tomato sauce

5 cans light red kidney beans

1 tea. Oregano

1 tea. garlic powder

5-6 Tbls chili powder

1/4 tea. cinnamon

1/4 tea. cumin

1/4 tea. allspice

Bring to a boil, reduce to simmer for about 90 minutes (stirring frequently) or until it reaches desired thickness. Serve over cooked spaghetti, and top with chopped red onion and plenty of shredded cheddar or colby cheese.

If you make it, let me know how it comes out for you.

Food coma, day 3, tomorrow. Have a blessed weekend!

Day 70: Just When I Was Looking for Something To Make Me Drop That Doughnut!

2009-11-24T23:58:00.001-06:00

I came into this project with both eyes open. Well, okay. Maybe my eyes weren't quite open all the way, but I did get a pretty good view of the bottom of the cliff I was about to jump off of.

Occasionally, I think, Why am I taking all these pictures? I don't particularly like to have my picture taken. I promise I'm not clinically narcissistic. But it seemed to me that either I was going to have to spend the whole year photographing clothes on my office closet door or buy a mannequin to dress every day. I think it's only fair for me to shoot myself (no pun intended) in my WM/Sam's Club clothes so you can see what they look like on a real, live person.

Today, I'm kinda wishing I'd bought that mannequin.

I know I've sent you to MyShape.com and MissusSmartyPants.com to check out what body type you have, and learn how you can select clothes that flatter--no matter the cost. Did you go? I know a few readers let me know they made a real difference for them. It pays to be able to approach a rack of clothes knowing that you can ignore 50-60% of them right off the bat. It's a real time saver. (There are tons of other free places on the web to figure out your shape. Just google!)

But the deal is, one really should pay attention to the results. Seriously. If I'd been true to my shape and plan, I never would have bought this sweater:

The color's a tad questionable for me, too. But we won't go there now.

Here's what's wrong with the sweater with me in it:

--Never, ever put a sharp horizontal line across the widest part of your body

--Never, ever have a dramatic color shift at the widest part of your body

--Never, ever buy a sweater that looks like a giant cube of broccoli

--The color Broccoli is not the same as Olive

--Never layer a turtleneck beneath a sweater that was made to be worn with a dickey or a cami

--If you have broad shoulders, never, ever wear giant collars whose points point straight at your broad shoulders

--My lack of a waist means that I kind of look like a lollipop if I wear skinny pants. The shape of this sweater intensifies the illusion.

Guess I'll be taking the matching fuschia sweater back before I take the tags off!

Ensemble:

August Silk Cotton Sweater $17; Calvin Klein cords: $17; George turtleneck: $10; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 Total: $81

And the kitten's name:

Kind of tough. In the end we decided on Nina Garcia. It's going to be so much easier to rename Scout and Hrothgar to Michael Kors and Tim Gunn than it would be to name them Pinta and Santa Maria!

Have a fun, hassle-free Wednesday!

Day 69: We Brake for Kitties Around Here

2009-11-24T00:05:00.001-06:00

I was all cozy in my office, set to write this post before bedtime. The family was hauling the recycling and trash cans down the driveway, and the dogs were happily assisting. Then there was some commotion, and I came into the living room to find my darling daughter cradling an equally darling kitty in her arms.

We have been kitty-less for a few years, now. But it seems we've been adopted. So there was much oooohing and aaahing all evening, and even a quick trip to the mothership by certain members of the family to pick up kitten food, litter, etc.

Here it is, ready for its star turn...It's young, and we're pretty sure it's a female:

Guess we're off to the vet today!

Sunday's Church Ensemble:

Norma Kamali sweater: $20; Norma Kamali cords: $15; No Boundaries belt: $7; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); Earrings: $12; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 (wish I could find some more cute, black leather shoes or mules w/ a heel. Total: $87

I'm quite happy with this outfit--except for the fact that it looks like I'm sporting jelly rolls of fat down my front. That's the problem with vertical stripes when you're not shaped like a freaking pencil! But I do love the cords--wish they came in other colors. Adore the fine wale and the way they fit. Go, Norma! (I have forgiven you for the coat....)

Got your turkey shopping done, yet? Have fun!

Day 68: "How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth..."--Shakespeare

2009-11-23T01:08:00.001-06:00

My baby girl came home for Thanksgiving break Saturday night! It was oddly appropriate somehow that I was shopping at the mothership when she got back in town. In fact, she surprised me by tracking me down in the store. And, of course, the first thing she said was, "what is that you're wearing?"

I was crushed. But I confess that I was looking a bit worse for wear. I'd spent all day hanging around the laptop and bookshelves cataloging books, and, late in the afternoon, decided to make homemade pizza for dinner. The mothership being the closest store, I threw on a Green Tea hoodie over my black shirt and jeans and drove there for a quick pepperoni and cheese trip. I looked very close to sloppy, I confess.

Still, my heart was broken in the produce section.

That's okay, though. I'm so excited to have her home, she could say anything and I wouldn't mind.

Ensemble:

Lee 3/4 sleeve shirt: $7; Faded Glory jeans: $15; Green Tea dark blue hoodie (could have sworn it was black); $19; Dr. Scholl Athletic Mules: $20; Earrings: $7 Total: $68

Dull, serviceable outfit....

In the end, the pizza didn't happen. But I did have 3.5 cups of flour turning into dough at home. We went out for dinner, and when we got home, the dough was high, but it still had plenty of body.

So I made bread!

I don't put oil in my bread, but I do put a tbl of olive oil in pizza dough. It made the bread crust and its interior a bit more chewy. Came out very tasty--I've missed making bread.

Hope your week is full of good food and friends!

Day 67: WWKFW?

2009-11-22T06:15:00.001-06:00

The question I apparently asked myself before getting dress today: "What would Kevin Federline have worn in 2003?"

You can't see it in the above shot, but here's the awesomeness that is my Sparkly Spidey necklace:

Ensemble:

Norma Kamali vest: $15; To the Max jeans: $17; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); 2 Max Azria tanks: $7 ea; George loafer pumps: $12; No Boundaries belt: $7; Sparkly Spidey necklace: $65

Total: $133

Hope you dance through your day! (Get it? That's the KF reference! Oh, never mind.)

Day 66: Read Instructions Before Washing

2009-11-21T00:44:00.001-06:00

I've been an extra good girl, taking good care of my Wardrobe by Sam clothes: washing them on delicate, often with special detergent, ironing them, keeping them hung in a neat row in my closet. I've always been a stickler for following label instructions.

When I was laying out my clothes before going to bed, I noticed that the outer left pocket of one of my favorite hoodies was looking a tad gubby. Bleh. My first thought was to toss it in the washer on hand wash. But the label said "Dry Clean Only." Seems the outer cabled shell is polyester/acrylic/3% wool and the rest "other." Have no idea what "other" might mean.

But being occasionally distrustful of the need to dryclean certain things, I decided to wash it on "handwash" in the machine.

Here's the hoodie beneath the jacket:

I was disappointed at how badly it washed. I know. The label did say to dryclean it. But the surface did pill inordinately and the hoodie now looks kind of icky and cheap. ($24 at Sam's Club) I'll probably listen and dry clean the orange one that's constructed just like it.

Thursday's ensemble:

Ralph Lauren sweater: $24 (Sam's); Jones NY Gray stretchy pants: $17: Scarf: $5: Earth Spirit Shoes: $30; Earrings: $7 Total: $83

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Day 65: OMG! Only 300 Days Left!

2009-11-20T06:15:00.004-06:00

Do I sound excited? I was tempted to go overboard and use up all my exclamation points for the week in my title. But I restrained myself. It does feel good to be below the 300 mark. I like round numbers.

Someone very close to me said a thing that grabbed my attention the other day. I'm paraphrasing...She said that reading my blog has made her very happy to look into her closet and see that it's full of clothes that she likes. Her words certainly didn't hurt my feelings or anything. They reminded me that it's enjoyable and comforting to be surrounded by things that we like--or even love.

So, I'm not loving my clothes so much these days. I am stupidly excited about wearing my Eeyore jammie pants to bed tonight. And even more excited to have all of my pajama tees and pants and shorts clean at once. (BIG laundry day.) A couple of weeks ago, I would drag myself into the bedroom around midnight and paw around for something Walmartish to wear to bed. I wasn't very organized and didn't have much of a repertoire. Now--woo-hoo! It's 100% cotton and Eeyore all the way! Plus, I have my f'uggs to keep me warm when I'm making the boy's lunch in the morning.

It goes without saying that life goes well beyond clothes...other things I like: our silly dogs, the coneflowers still blooming in the garden despite the frost, Ghirardelli 70% Dark Chocolate, dates with my guys, all the amazing plants in our upper pasture that look different every day, my friends--online and offline--who accept me as I am and trust me with their thoughts, that awesome Forever New fabric wash stuff that makes my WM lingerie and sweaters smell pretty like they're worth hundreds, writing, my kids' jokes, the Bose stereo in my car, my favorite pillow, edamame, and capers. I could babble on about world peace and babies' smiles, but everyone likes that stuff....

Kind of makes me thankful, despite the baggy blue jeans.

What are three things that you like?

Day 65's ensemble:

Ha! I find it kind of ironic that I'm wearing one of my least favorite mothership items today. Here's that odd olive sweater. I wore it weeks ago with something ivory beneath it, I think. While it looks better with the black turtleneck, I still find it, well, not cute. It's boxy and such a thin knit that it doesn't hang or drape so much as cling to me. The belt makes it bearable, but I'm not happy that it's woven. A plain belt would've been better. The plainer black ones I have are both too narrow and have silver buckles. Add in blue jeans that have become a little ho-hum, and I have to give it all a big YAWN. Let's not forget That Damned Necklace.

Redeeming characteristics: Love olive/black/denim bronze combo. (could do w/out the denim, but it's okay.) The turtleneck is surprisingly comfortable and warmish.

White Stag sweater: $11; Faded Glory turtle: $10; Faded Glory belt: $11; Faded Glory jeans: $15; That Damned Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 Total of 100%-Walmart Ensemble (no Sam's Club items): $87 (Gucci bags beneath my eyes: $0)

Have a great weekend!

Day 64: Black and Blue Again, and a Sweater Without An Alligator

2009-11-19T06:15:00.001-06:00

Didn't I say that blue and black together was very fashion-forward? What I can't figure out is why the people who style these women didn't plan a little better. Isn't it like having the same prom dress or something?

Even though I'm guilty of having owned a lot of Ralph Lauren pieces during my life, I've never been a terribly label-conscious person. I don't mind a handbag with a subtle fob or a small metal indicia somewhere on it. But Lord save us from luggage with YSL stamped all over it or velour sweats with JUICY COUTURE on the backside. I confess to having that fling with the RL Polo guy decades ago--but, really, the shirts and sweaters were classic and cute, and where could you find them elsewhere? LLBean's didn't have banded sleeves for a long time as I recall, and Lands' End was just shapeless.

You're probably not old enough to remember the first IZOD/LACOSTE craze in the eighties. The LACOSTE symbol is an alligator sewn onto the front of their clothing. Everyone used to run around trying to rip the alligators off and collect them--just like we did LEVI'S pocket tags. What the hell were we thinking?

If you go to the IZOD/LACOSTE link above, you'll read how they used to be one company, but long ago split into two. LACOSTE remains upscale. IZOD has stayed down in the trenches. That's probably why they're selling sweaters at Sam's Club.

I dithered on buying one of these sweaters. Its shape is a tad boxy for my figure and the V isn't quite deep enough. Sam's has it in pink, blue, and gray. On my last Sam's trip, I broke down and bought one because I knew they were 100% cotton--and I'm tired of poly/acrylic blends.

I know this is a photo my mom and my dentist will love because of my grinning corpse head. Love the pale blue color of the sweater. I tried it with a light blue blouse, but there was no contrast and the blues didn't complement each other. You can't see that I'm wearing black cords. (Thus the whole blue and black thing.)

Ensemble:

IZOD sweater: $17 (Sam's Club); To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance WM-$16); Calvin Klein Cords: $18 (Sam's); Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30 Total: $75

Hope you're having a great week!

Day 63: Something I Really Miss

2009-11-18T22:21:00.001-06:00

There were periods when my kids were babies that I woke up in the morning after a few hours sleep and put on whatever happened to be near the bed. Disgusting, I know. But so true.

I can only liken birthing a novel to parenting an infant: sometimes it wakes you in the middle of the night, sometimes you love it, sometimes you don't like it at all, sometimes when you're doing it you think that it's the best job in the world, and sometimes you just want to put a fork in your eye.

Monday was a best job in the world kind of day, so getting dressed was the furthest thing from my mind. To the best of my recollection, it involved velour pants, some kind of hoodie, and a pink t-shirt with sparkly things on it (Danskin, $5, for sleeping, yes). And don't even get me started on my hair. Talk about in-between stages....When it was all an inch shorter, I would wake up and it would look just like it did when I put my head down on my satin pillowcase the night before. (You need one of these--from any vendor--if you have hair or skin.) Now, my hair is always comical in the morning, and kinda looks like this:

So, let's move on, shall we?

Here's my third-favorite sweater I've ever owned:

I think it's gorgeous. It's a wool knit, quite light in weight, but still very warm. I think it has a little nylon woven in so it keeps its body and stretch. The embroidered flowers are simple and the colors so fun. I wear this with black pants or skinny jeans, and always with boots that have a decent heel.

Occasionally, I'll wear a turtleneck the same color as the olive-green yarn detail, but I usually go with a with a white blouse with a substantial pointed collar. (The blouse shown is a George from the mothership. It's all I had handy. Think bigger, pointier. )

When I wear this sweater to conferences, women stop me in the bathroom or in the elevator or in restaurants to ask me where I got it. They're always shocked to hear I bought it at our area Dillard's, in Marion, Il. Go figure. And it was only $125. But I think it's worth the proverbial million bucks.

I miss it. *sigh*

Day 62: I'm Not a Candidate, and I Don't Play One on T.V.

2009-11-17T06:15:00.005-06:00

I am not a pantsuit fan. I did have a very cool Cabernet-colored pantsuit with a jacket that zipped up the front. Bought it from Sierra Trading Post years ago for about $75 and I'd seen it retail for almost $400. Sadly, the pants were a half size too small, except for about five minutes when I accidentally lost a few pounds. I found them again quickly, though, and the pantsuit was never the same.

I always feel like this in a pantsuit:

Say what you like about the woman's politics, but I never could get a bead on the pantsuit thing. She doesn't have the figure for pants. Monochromatic color schemes, yes. Pantsuit, I don't think so. (Though the dark gray, second from the right looks nice.)

Even though our church is quite casual, it's nice to dress up sometimes. Sunday, I came darn close to the pantsuit thing. The Norma Kamali Pants and Jacket are separates and the blacks don't quite match, but the effect was suit-ish:

The jacket isn't closely fitted and has a standard peaked lapel. I put a dark blue cami with it for variety. Black and blue together is very fashion-forward this season and it looks much less formal than all black. But it was the scarf that pulled it all together.

Really like the shoes:

(photo from www.walmart.com)

I think they were all of $12--they're very cute on. The narrow heel did pinch a bit, but it will stretch with wear. (Okay, the pinch turned into a little bleeding. I wasn't wearing socks. Will next time. One of the vagaries of vinyl as opposed to cushy soft leather.)

Ensemble: Norma Kamali Jacket: $20; Norma Kamali Career Pants: $15; George cami: $7; Scarf: $5; Pearls: $18; Earrings: $7; Shoes: $12; Belt: $8 Total: $92

Later in the day, I had to lead a Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey) discussion. I switched the jacket for a black sweater and put on different black shoes.

Faded Glory acrylic sweater: $12

Very comfortable against my skin. I've maligned the ubiquitous Chinese acrylic beast a lot here lately. (Did you know they don't make acrylic in the U.S. anymore?) Couldn't find much on acrylic fiber on the web. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about acrylic, and, further, how polymers that make up such things are constructed. What a shame that it pills so badly and isn't very cozy.

What are you wearing today?

P.S. A very happy birthday today to my always stylish Mother-In-Law, Ann!

Day 61: If I Had Sufficient Dignity, I Wouldn't Be Telling You This....

2009-11-16T06:15:00.001-06:00

Have we discussed the pajama problem? Probably. But it comes up every day for me and continues to be a major issue. I pondered it at length, with many photos, at Notes From the Handbasket months ago. Of course, the Walmart project has made things even more complicated.

Eight weeks ago, the weather was pleasant enough for sleeping in cotton tees and cutie-pie cotton shorts that I certainly wouldn't wear beyond my own kitchen. (Okay, maybe to take the dogs outside first thing--but we are very far from the road.) Now, the nights are chilly. And what kind of sleepwear is available at the mothership? Mostly polyester, and plenty of 60/40 cotton/poly. The kind that pills, itches, and wears out quickly.

I want cotton, darn it! And maybe cotton flannel for uber-cool nights.

This is what I bought today, much to my chagrin:

Yep. I will be wearing 100% cotton Eeyore jammies ($7). Now, to be fair, I did own a darling set of flannel Piglet jammies--shorts and a 3/4 sleeve top. But that was well before I turned forty and I bought them at the Disney store because I was feeling whimsical and they were marked down. I don't know. I like Eeyore, but, really, these seem a little desperate, don't you think? I didn't get the matching waffle weave graphic top. I went to the sweats dept. and bought an $8 100% organic cotton tee shirt. It's soft.

Here are the other jammies:

These were $13. ($15 online--what's up with that?) This I can't figure out: I wanted to buy a pink or gray set instead. But the pink and gray versions were all 60/40 cotton/poly. Only the black ones were 100% cotton. I thought that maybe it was a labeling mistake, but it was the same for the nightgown version. I wonder if it has something to do with the black dyes.

Anyway. No glamour in the Benedict boudoir this winter. More's the pity.

Saturday's ensemble:

See. Told you I couldn't wait to wear this again!

The last time I wore it was on Nov. 2nd, so it's almost been two weeks. Wish I could go the whole year without repeating outfits, but that's just not going to happen--just as it doesn't happen in real life. I did add That Damned Necklace ($7) and later in the day, my F'aux Uggs for comfort. A friend told me that I looked like Maid Marian, and I have to agree. As shown, the ensemble cost about $70--about $17 more with the sheepskin boots and necklace.

Tomorrow: Almost a pantsuit.

Have an enlightening week!

Day 60: Survey Says....

2009-11-15T06:15:00.002-06:00

Got the funniest survey from the Planet Mothership today. Seems I returned a Norma Kamali shirt that I bought online over a month ago, and the powers that be were fretting why, oh, why? Was it something they said? Did? Was it the price? And how did I return it? On gossamer wings? By post? In person?

First they wanted to know what department it came from. Would you believe that I had to fill in "other" because apparel wasn't on the list? How odd. Then I had to tell them why I returned it. I think I had to settle for "ordered wrong item" because didn't fit wasn't on the list. Odd, again. One wonders if they're new to this whole customers returning clothes thing.

Then I messed up and said I'd returned it to a store and replaced it at a store. But of course I had to page back and change it because I would've had to DRIVE 100 MILES to get anything Norma Kamali, let alone a shirt for which I could have had no expectation of being in stock. I do recall that the shirt was still available online--though I haven't yet worn it. (It's summery and dressy)

At the end of the survey I mentioned the whole having to drive to the ends of the earth to get the NK brand. We'll never have it here in So Ill. Never.

It would've been nice if they would send me a coupon or something for my trouble. I love how companies act like they're offering surveys to enhance their customers' shopping experience. Maybe so, but they get plenty of my money--they don't need more of my time as well. Probably won't answer another survey from them unless I have something really grumpy to say. Though I did give them major kudos for their easy return system and their unfailingly knowledgeable customer service people. I swear, you have to be like an MBA/prison guard/Mary Poppins to handle their exchange systems. Those people are pros. Just don't go to customer service on a weekend or anytime during December or January except on a Tuesday morning at 4 a.m.

Ensemble:

Okay, so this picture kind of cracks me up. Like the grimmest senior (citizen) portrait ever!

Ralph Lauren sweater: $21; Faded Glory blue jeans: $15; f'aux Uggs: $33; Silver cross necklace: $15; Silver earrings: $12 Total: $96

Happy Middle of November--Go play in some raked leaves!

Day 59: In Shades of Black and Gray

2009-11-14T06:15:00.002-06:00

I'm really going to miss being able to take my wardrobe photos outside when it starts getting really cold. When it comes to light, there's no comparison between what can happen outside and what I'm able to manage inside. Perhaps during the long winter I can learn more about indoor lighting for photos and how I can make them look better. Our house is so close to the woods that we don't get an enormous amount of light inside--I don't even try to grow indoor plants. (Better for them--I always over water anyway!)

I watched Part I of Project Runway's season finale yesterday. It wouldn't be hard to find out who actually won last spring. There are spoilers available everywhere, but I like to have things unfold slowly. Have you ever watched the show? I'm a huge fan, and it's taught both P and I a lot about fashion and the work it takes to make it happen. This season has been disappointing because they've focused so intensely on the personalities, rather than the contestants training and professional development. The competition has gotten much tougher over the years, the contestants more talented. They've also gotten better looking. Hmmmm. Wonder why?

This season, the final three are all women and they all appear to be at the same skill level. They're all fine, but not one of them stands out or seems to have an identifiable vision. Without vision, they're just young and attractive and talented.

I've been thinking a lot about vision lately. It's a rare thing. Then again, maybe it's not so rare as it used to be. Now, because of our massive capabilities in communication, we have almost instant access to talent as soon as it buds. Talent is cheaper because it's available in greater supply. So a few folks are bound to surface with a stronger vision than their peers. But we don't necessarily recognize it because it comes so cheap. The writer Cormac McCarthy explores this concept a bit in his recent interview with the WSJ. I need to think about it more. The whole idea is rather unsettling and makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing getting out of bed every day....

Your personal style should be YOUR vision of how you want to feel, how you want to interact with the world. You don't have to be a fashion designer or even very interested in fashion. But what we wear and, more importantly, how we wear what we wear is part of how we communicate with the world. Sounds like a no-brainer, doesn't it? It's not vanity or foolishness or selfishness--unless it is taken intentionally to those levels.

Sure, we all have limitations--budget, access, fashion education, interest--but it's our internal vision that will shine through. Eventually.

My vision feels a tad murky here, the sweater shapeless, and the color bleh. Plus, there's a ginormous tree growing out of my head. A real through-the-glass-darkly effect. Ah, well. Can't win them all.

Ensemble:

Faded Glory cotton sweater: $10; To the Max 97/3 pinstripe blouse: $3 (clearance $16); Norma Kamali cords: $15; Kenneth Cole Jacket: $79 (Sam's); Earth Spirit Shoes: $30; Silver Earrings: $12; Spider Necklace: $60 (I'll take a close-up of this soon) Total: $209, a new record!

Like the pants a lot. They're a fine wale, and so hang very nicely. A flare at the bottom. The blouse is cute, too. Would look great with a black or white v-neck.

Hope you're having a fabulous weekend!

Day 58: Five Pounds and I Don't Want to Diet Again

2009-11-13T06:15:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I tweeted that my annual winter weight-gain project is well under way. Ahead of schedule, actually. At five pounds gained since the week before Halloween, I'm already hovering around mid-December type numbers. For me, there's no better reminder of my genetic closeness to the fuzz-burdened caterpillar outside my front door than my seasonal craving for endless carbohydrates.

Does this happen to anyone else? Or am I alone in my madness? Worse, I still can't get cozy in all this damn acrylic I've been wearing lately. Right now I have on a 97% cotton, 3% spandex blouse with a thin cotton sweater and an acrylic sweater layered over it. I feel kind of itchy, like a five year-old in a polyester Easter dress.

I don't want fruit or anything even vaguely resembling a vegetable. I want to sit. And sit some more. Maybe watch television or read. While I'm sitting--wrapped in layers of combed cotton and wool--I want to eat popcorn, shortbread cookies, cashews (ah, protein), chocolate, and chips. Doesn't matter what kind of chips. I prefer regular potato chips or sour cream and onion, but I'll take taco chips in a pinch, or whatever is in the variety snack bags I have tucked away for Bengal's lunch.

Last fall, I got a jump on the weight gain with the Flat Belly Diet. I reviewed it for a newspaper, (LOVE the black dress in the pics--the polka dots were cute in the other, but it's not a good cut for me) and even did a month-long blog that chronicled the adventure called Laura Does a Diet. I'm not going to do that diet this year. Too expensive, too time-consuming. I really just need to get the fork out of my mouth and get myself on the exercise bike!

So, on Wednesday, I was still pretty sick. I did manage to get dressed:

Sorry. I was feeling silly. It was late....Yesterday morning I hung up the clothes so you could see them. (Still can't find my memory card.)

The outfit was almost cozy.

Green Tea hoodie: $23 (Sam's); White Stag ls scoop neck tee: $10; Calvin Klein cords: $17 (?) (Sam's); F'aux Uggs: $34 (Sam's) Total $84

Love the pumpkin/coral color of the hoodie. The cords are olive green--my favorite.

Have a terrific Friday the 13th--and let's all stay out of the chips and cookies, shall we? Save room for pie. xo

Days 56 and 57: I Knew It Would Come to This

2009-11-12T12:00:00.001-06:00

I'm sick. Knew it would happen eventually, what with my DH at a university many hours of the week and Bengal at school everyday. Oh, and there's that whole there-are-as-many-germs-on-a-shopping-cart-handle-as-on-a-public-bathroom-floor-thing. I use the wipes the stores provide, but I fear that the germs have probably overcome any effectiveness they might have.

I wondered how I would face the blog--and the camera--when this happened. It seems I caved and just hid away in my hoodie the past couple days. Sorry about that. No photo from Monday. Just picture me in my navy blue Hanes sweat pants, a ls Laura Ashley tee, and one of my Green Tea hoodies. Also, a bottle of ibuprofen by my side.

Maybe it's just my cold, but my enthusiasm for the project flagged a bit this week. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, it's both harder and easier than I thought it would be. Blogging every day is fun, but it is a huge time commitment. I'm picky. I don't want to just throw up a pic, some numbers and say "Have a nice day!" It means a lot to me that you're taking the time to read this, and I don't want to disappoint. Also, I've never been a big planner. I can organize events and almost always have a good idea of any end I want to reach, but I'm also incredibly impulsive and distractable (both ADHD traits). Trying to figure out what I'm going to wear, photographing it, and/or myself, then putting it all together is a constant challenge. Though I did say I was looking for a challenge, didn't I?

The easier part: I'm not finding it all that difficult to put together acceptable outfits from the mothership. This surprises me. I miss the variety and the unique craftsmanship qualities that more expensive clothes can offer, but that's more of an aesthetic issue and certainly not cause for depression or alarm.

I am, in the end, primarily a middle-class mom who engages in middle-class activities. I stay at home far more than most people. The difference is that when I'm public, I'm very public--at conferences and appearances and such. When I first started touring, it scared me to death, but now I get a real kick out of it. I really do have the best job in the world!

Anyway, I just wanted you to know what goes on at this end. So if I look a little bleary-eyed in a photo it may be because I forgot to take the pic until 11:00 at night. I'm working hard, hard, hard to finish the novel I'm working on and then there are those shiny objects that are always jumping in front of me.

But just telling you about it has renewed my enthusiasm--thanks for listening. And a HUGE thank you for reading this and being a part of this project! I'm learning a lot, and your comments and thoughts are a big part of that.

On to the photos:

As I mentioned, Monday was a total hoodie and socks day.

Here's Tuesday. I had to pick up Bengal and take him to Scouts, then P and I had a brief dinner together at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I have temporarily misplaced the memory card in my camera, so I took these in the WM bathroom. Bengal helped. The look on the face of the woman washing her hands cracks me up.

The quality is dreadful, I know. The jacket is that cute Norma Kamali double-breasted french terry (better view here.)

Ensemble:

Norma Kamali jacket: $20; To the Max Jeans: $11 (clearance from $17); George slimming cami: $10; Necklace $7; Earrings: $8; Earth Spirit Shoes: $30 Total: $86

Love, love, love these jeans. I'll get a better picture next time I wear them or hang them up. They're super-faded, but have a terrific shape to them. Wish I could find more To the Max stuff--have only seen it in Kirkwood, and only a few pieces at a time. Never online.

Oh, and just because these pictures are so dreadful, here's one from 1988 or so. My RL and pearls days. Though I'm always an RL and pearls kind of girl, I confess.

Hope all is healthy with you!

Day 55: 310 Days Left (But Who's Counting?)

2009-11-10T06:15:00.002-06:00

Notes from my Kirkwood, MO Walmart trip:

First, I have the most patient husband ever! He wasn't feeling well, but after he was done pondering electronics and procuring us some 70% cocoa chocolate, he actually came and sat down and waited for me on the bench outside the waiting room. It was so nice to have him there because, really, I haven't encountered anyone yet at WM while I'm trying on clothes who seemed like they had the time or inclination to give me their opinion on the stuff I was trying on. I, on the other hand, am always opening my mouth if someone comes out of a dressing room wearing something very flattering, and volunteer my opinion whether they ask for it or not. Most women have excellent radar about whether someone else is looking for an honest opinion or is just looking for support. P is just plain honest with me. He even encouraged me to try on an outfit that I thought was way over the top. And it looked much better than I thought it would, so we bought it!

One thing I've noticed: Each Walmart store appears to exist in a vacuum. When it comes to brands, no one at any given store seems to have any idea about what's available at other stores in the area. This makes sense, I guess, given the volume of merchandise each person has to handle. The Kirkwood store is no exception.

Loved, loved, loved the women working in the ladies' apparel department. One of them did frequently offer me her opinion. "Don't forget," she said. "I haven't always been at Walmart. I worked at ____ Department Store for a lot of years." I confess that that did give me a little more confidence in her comments. She also called over a manager to help me get a couple dollars off of a shirt I wanted to buy that had some places where it looked like it got run over by a cart (very washable). She apologized that she could only get $1.50 off and not $2 because it was already marked down.

Last thing: One nice lady asked me my opinion on matching a particular ruffled blouse to a plaid blazer. I showed her some other choices to consider. The ruffles with the plaid would have been--I don't know--just a tad too fabulous.

Photos as I work all the goodies into the rotation.

What I wore:

Sunday was the Longest Day Ever! I'd hope to get some atmosphere-rich backgrounds at the Missouri Botanical Gardens, but it was not to be. So here's a shot I took when we got home. If I look grim, it's because I was tired, tired, tired and had just discovered that the squirrel had eaten all the birds' seed.

George black blouse: $3 (marked down from $12); Faded Glory jeans: $15; Earth Spirit black leather shoes: $30; That Damned Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; Scarf: $5 (I packed light--wore the same jewelry that I had on on Saturday.) Total: $67

Need to plant some bulbs today because the mulch is coming. Hope you have something fun planned. Have a delicious fall day!

Day 54: Off to the Zoo and Another Walmart, Too (Did I Type that Out Loud?)

2009-11-09T18:47:00.001-06:00

Seemed like everyone in St. Louis was at the zoo or the St. Louis Art Museum on Saturday afternoon. Gorgeous, gorgeous day. Wonderful zoo. I used to go there on my lunch hour when I worked across the highway from it. I was also a sucker for the zoo when I was a child. Now, I'll take my kids, but I don't care so much to see all the animals. Birds and snakes, fine. Even insects, fish, and poison dart frogs. Call me mammal-centric, but I don't much like to see orangutans, chimps, elephants, zebras, or Lesser Kudus (tell me, is there a Greater Kudu?) all caged up or even in attractive, well-planned habitats. There's something about an orangutan's need for privacy that I identify with. Gorillas, too. I would sit with my back to a glass wall as well, I think. I wouldn't want anyone to watch me delouse my spouse or kids.

Still, it's a lovely park, and the animals are beautifully cared for. Here's the link. We had hoped to be able to stop at the Missouri Botanical Gardens as well, which is one of my favorite places in the world, but we had to rush home. Their Japanese Festival (Labor Day Weekend) is not to be missed.

Here are my two favorite photos from our zoo afternoon:

After P and I had a sushi date, we popped over to the Walmart in Kirkwood, which is the only Walmart in the area that I know for sure carries Norma Kamali clothes. Also a brand called To the Max, a younger, but not quite Miley Cyrus kind of line. Bought many things, including a $30 Faded Glory coat which will replace the unfortunate Norma K. Sleeping Bag coat. Maybe I'm just not hip enough for that coat. Ah, well.

Here's what I wore on Saturday:

See, I was almost all Norma Kamali--of course I still love (almost all of) her stuff.

Norma Kamali Athletic Dress (unzipped & tied around my waist-it was hot!): $20; Norma K Leggings: $10; Norma K "I Love My Dog" tee (because I do!): $8; Dr. Scholl Athletic Mules: $30 (cute and comfy); That Damned Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; Norma Kamali Ballet flats (changed into them before dinner and put the dress back on): $20 Total: $82 and $72

What did you do this weekend?

Have a wonderful week!

Days 52 and 53: Apple Red, Azalea Pink, and that Still Too-Big Skirt

2009-11-07T07:00:00.004-06:00

Forgive the brevity. I've had a big fiction-writing week, and on Saturday we're visiting the zoo, zoo, zoo. I find zoos, like circuses, a bit depressing. But Bengal has been desperate to go check out some animals.

For the past few weeks, I've been complaining about the fact that I have no waist. I don't see that that situation is going to change anytime soon--especially since I'm of a certain age. Carving off a little of the bumpy bits is always possible, but it's hard to fight genetics. Broad shoulders, short waist, large-ish ribcage--they're all characteristics I need to work with, or work around.

A few years ago, I started paying better attention to what clothes might flatter my particular body shape. If you're curious about narrowing down styles that will flatter you, here are some places to start. When you know your body shape and what works for it, you can shop just about anywhere you want and look fabulous. You may also discover why certain styles--like boat necks, wide wale cords, skinny belts, whatever--either look great on you, or terrible. Small revelations can help you make powerful changes.

I started at Missus Smarty Pants.com. Good, succint advice for a small fee. Also MyShape.com. This one is free, but you need to spend about 20 minutes with a measuring tape. I wasn't so great at the measuring thing. I like this site because it has lots of clothing choices, and there's a wide range of prices.

The ChicFashionista.com has lots of good advice. Though it tells me I'm a rectangle, and it gave me advice that conflicts with twhat I need to do to minimize my shoulders.

Let me know if you learn anything useful!

Thursday's Ensemble:

Ralph Lauren cotton sweater (Sam's): $23; Jones New York stretchy black jeans (Sam's): $19; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit Shoes: $30 Total: $79

Friday's Ensemble:

525 America cardigan (Sam's): $20; George slimming cami: $10; Faded Glory cord skirt: $10; Tights: $5; Norma Kamali ballet flats: $20; Necklace: $8; Sterling silver earrings: $12 Total: $85

Have a grrrrreat weekend (couldn't resist that)! xo

Day 51: A Trip to the Ancillary Mothership and Oh, Norma, I Don't Know What to Think!

2009-11-06T07:00:00.001-06:00

I spent all day Wednesday writing at our local Panera. Arrived for breakfast and left an hour short of old-folks' dinnertime. When I was done, I treated myself to a trip to Sam's Club, hoping for a style injection. I pretty much exhausted them of wearable sweaters and pants the last couple times I was there.

Don't you just love anticipation? Rewarding yourself for a job well done?

It was not to be. Not really. I arrived to find...many more copies of the clothes I've seen there for the past four weeks. Talk about disappointing.

Couldn't bring myself to buy a fourth RL sporty cotton sweater--even though I like black. It just seemed, oh, I don't know, excessive maybe? A leopard print cardigan to go with my zebra print red and black one--no. A bulky acrylic sweater that will make me look like a 13th century Japanese warrior with sartorial issues--no, no.

I came away with a few things: A bright fuschia cardigan like a gray one I have and like a lot. A coral-pumpkin-ish hoody like the white one pictured below. A second pair of CK cords and a pair of Jones NY stretchy jeans. And these:

Yes! I'm now the proud owner of a pair of faux Uggs!!! Or, as I like to call them, F'uggs. (Dog paws not included.)

I was absolutely not going to replace my precious, doe-soft Uggs with plastic booties lined with batting or whatever Walmart puts in them. I was just going to do w/out sheepskin this winter. But, oh. I don't have to. And all for the low, low price of $34. Sheepskin, inside and out. Exact Ugg-type stitching. These were assembled in China, too. (Check your Uggs. It's hard to get made-in-Australia ones from the Ugg Co. Has been for the last few years.) Differences: No cute Ugg label, and the soles of these aren't quite as flexy. And if you give the soles a good sniff, they smell a little (a tiny little bit) like recycled tires. Isn't that a good thing, though. Who sniffs shoe soles so closely, anyway. ALSO--These are taller than my originals and they kept my calves all cozy-warm today as I worked.

Color me delighted.

Now. I honestly don't know what to think about this coat. This is the Walmart version of Norma Kamali's very famous Sleeping Bag Coat.

Quotes:

Me: "What?" "It's stuffed with polyester?" "Is this a Hefty bag, or what?" "This feels weird."

My Spouse: "Yes, it does kind of look like garbage bags." "Homeless fashion?" "It looks like something someone would wear, but maybe not you." "You look like you weigh 40 more pounds than you actually do."

Something about it inspired me to do an Ab Fab Patsy Stone-style photo shoot.

(I lightened up some of the pics considerably so you could see detail.)

Maybe it's the color? I think it would be cute and fun in white. Hmmm. I'd be very curious to see what the true NK versions--the ones that cost hundreds of dollars--are like. I'm thinking down inside?

What do you think? (Norma Kamali Sleeping Bag Coat $35)

Ensemble:

I was so busy, I forgot to take a pic of my ensemble on Wednesday. But it was basically this one, with the change being that I wore the gray granny cotton/cashmere cardi you haven't seen yet. This pic is from the early part of Saturday:

Faded Glory Jeans: $15; Faded Glory turtleneck: $10; Faded Glory Bomber: $35; Green Tea Hoodie (Sam's): $24; Spider Necklace: $68; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit Shoes: $30 Total: $189

Have an absolutely fabulous weekend! xo

Day Fifty: In Which I Look Vaguely Disapproving and Clue You in to the Color Mafia

2009-11-05T07:00:00.004-06:00

There's a brilliant scene in The Devil Wears Prada in which Meryl Streep's character explains to Anne Hathaway's character how her obviously inexpensive blue (?) sweater came to be the color that it is. She pegs it to the exact year and season of its production and the color's pre-runway origins.

Can you imagine how long the journey must be from the color prognosticators to Walmart? Actually, now that I think about it, the mothership has the kind of buying power that must command a pretty direct line to the prognosticators that be.

If you go into any retail store that sells clothing, you can easily determine what colors are currently in style. Check out the dresses and blouses or shirts for clues. Also scarves and shoes. You won't see a lot of brown this year because brown has been on the racks for about the last three or four years. Colors are rich this winter, like jewels: bright peacock blue, pomegranate, pumpkin, some red.

Who decides these things:

The International Colour Authority, for one. Their website is very mysterious. I like that they openly state that they meet twice a year, colors are planned twenty-four months ahead, and they never disclose their panelists' names. Cool.

There are other fun sites to poke around in. You can even find out what colors you'll be wearing next fall.

The mothership calls the color of the turtleneck I'm wearing here "Royal Spice." Huh? Looks like blue-green or peacock to me. It's a hard color to match things to. Black works best, I think. It's dreadful with denim.

Ensemble:

Faded Glory turtleneck sweater: $10; George cotton v-neck sweater: $3; Norma Kamali pants: $15: Necklace: $10; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30

Total: $75

Love the colors together--glad to finally be able to wear the necklace. It was just too fancy to wear with other outfits and doesn't look great against my skin.

While this look appeals to me a great deal, I didn't feel fabulous wearing it. I tried to imagine that the pants were a nice, lined wool gabardine, and the v-neck was a finely wrought Italian wool. Sharp black leather boots with a 2-inch heel would have been just grand. I even would have worn this turtleneck--I like the color and it's nice and fitted and thin enough for layering. *sigh*

Tomorrow: I take a trip to Sam's Club in search of something warm to wear. It, uh, doesn't go so well.

Have a brilliant day!

Day Forty-Nine: In Which I Pretend I'm a Really Old, Kind of Stocky Twiggy, but Stand near Some Beautiful Water

2009-11-04T07:00:00.004-06:00

There are some fall days that are just delicious. I'm thankful every day to live in a place where we have four distinct seasons, all with their own character and nuances. I confess that I'm not particularly fond of the nuances of ice storms and tornadoes, but at least the weather here is never dull.

On the other hand:

On my iTouch, the weather app face is a little picture of a sun and a temperature reading of 73 degrees. So when I get up in the morning and turn it on, I always have this frisson of pleasure, then disappointment because 73 is like a magical number. What a perfect temperature. When I was a teenager, I knew I could go sunbathe in my bathing suit if it was 73 degrees. Isn't it always 73 degrees in Hawaii, or something? I confess that I could easily live out the rest of my life anywhere that holds a constant, steady 73 degrees.

Here's a pic of our pond. I love how the look of the pond changes from day to day.

If I hadn't been doing this project, I probably wouldn't have gone to the trouble of taking this picture. I try to keep images like this in my mind, but the Internet is, sadly, much more reliable for archiving.

I'm happy to announce that the Norma Kamali gray sweater/coat has been redeemed! I put it on in the morning with a scoop neck white t-shirt and gray leggings. The entire ensemble was dull as dishwater. So I ditched the knitted self-belt and replaced it with a big woven leather one that is much better for the sweater when it comes to scale. I added a black turtleneck, black boots, and leggings. Finally, I'm loving this sweater.

Ensemble:

Norma Kamali gray sweater/coat: $20; No Boundaries belt: $8; Norma Kamali leggings: $10; Chaus turtleneck $12 (Sam's Club); L.E.I. faux sueded slouchy boots: $29; pearl stud earrings: $7

Total: $86

Can't wait to wear this again!

And one last Halloween treat that won't rot your teeth--The pumpkins that Bengal and I carved. Now they are getting nice and gooey and scary on the porch.....

Hope your week is full of blessings--and chocolate. Kind of the same thing!

Day Forty-Eight: Wash Before Wearing!

2009-11-03T23:12:00.002-06:00

It's kind of tough to follow a zebra costume, and it was darned hard getting that makeup off. But the whole evening was definitely worth Bengal's massive candy haul.

After all that black and white, I was thinking a little red might be nice. In laying out my clothes for church on Sunday morning, I picked out a George black sheath dress that you haven't seen before and paired it with that cute red and black cardigan I wore to Bouchercon a few weeks ago. But then I realized that it was yet another zebra print. And I just couldn't go there.

I did go red, after all.

(I have to start remembering to keep the dogs in the house when I take these photos. As soon as they hear the camera's timer beeping, they think it's time to play and come running. I can't tell you how many pics I've had taken while being knocked over by the dogs, had a dog running behind me so it looks like I've grown a tail, or was laughing so hard that I fell out of the picture. Do forgive me if I look askance at my dear Hrothgar. He's particularly enthusiastic.)

It's not a bad outfit. I'm still grateful to reader Dave for pointing out that I needed a little color in my life. I've rarely worn red--Like red shoes, anything red on the body announces itself as soon as you come into a room. Whether you like it or not. Also, it's not great against my skin because my skin has too much yellow in it and it doesn't complement the red. It helps to have the white shirt between the red and the rest of me, I think.

Fortunately, our church is a very laid back sort of place. Blue jeans are always welcome.

This was a comfortable outfit, but a little boring. You can't see it here, but I wore a kind of spiffy necklace that looks like a silver model of some solar system. I guess my head would have to be the sun? Uh, let's not take that any further. But the sweater and blouse did need a little something to jazz them up.

Problems: While I am delighted to tell you that the sweater is cotton, and not that damned acrylic stuff, I'm afraid it's way too thin to be warm. In photos, you can also see the white of the blouse showing through in the chest area. (BTW--If you're planning to have your picture taken while wearing something knitted and black, do wear a black bra, definitely not a white one, or you will look like something is trying to escape through the front of your top. Fair warning.)

Here's what my sweet white blouse looked like after I took it and the sweater off:

Can you see all the nasty red lint? Ugh. I was very worried that is wouldn't wash away. It did, but I made sure to use extra detergent and several rinses. Why do I think that this would never happen with, say, an Adrienne Vittadini sweater? I truly would have appreciated a heads-up on the lint thing here, Walmart!

Ensemble: Faded Glory sweater: $10; Faded Glory jeans: $15; To the Max blouse (LOVE the 4-button cuffs. I want more To the Max stuff, but I only found a few pieces in Kirkwood, MO) $17; Earth Spirit shoes: $30; George necklace: $7; Sterling silver hoops: $12 Total: $91

Remember: Wash before wearing!!!!

Day Forty-Seven: (Insert Zebra Vocalization Here)

2009-11-02T08:01:00.001-06:00

The last time I wore a Halloween costume was for my daughter's party nine years ago. I was an Egyptian princess of some sort and probably bought it online somewhere.

A good friend recently told me about reading a Karl Lagerfeld quote on the transformative power of fashion. Costumes provide the ultimate transformation, don't they? At first I wasn't sure what motivated me to dress up this year, but now I think that transformation has become a kind of habit over these past few weeks. So when I saw a zebra-stripe turtleneck at Sam's Club a few weeks ago, I was suddenly once again excited about becoming someone (something!) else.

One thing I forgot about turning myself into a zebra--I forgot that they have bristly black manes. P said I looked a little like a white Bengal tiger. But every small child I saw while trick or treating with my son Halloween night pointed at me and declared me to be a zebra. That works for me!

Ensemble:

Chaus turtleneck: $15 (Sam's Club); Hat: $5; Scarf: $5: Gloves: $3; L.E.I. boots: $29; Black jeans: $15 (On sale at Dillard's last year*)

Total: $72

I made the ears and braided tail from yarn, felt, and pipe cleaners. Hint: When misusing a hot glue gun, don't try to peel random hot glue drops off of your skin until they cool. The top layer of skin will come off. Just saying....

*A small confession. I had to invoke the "evening gown exception" rule because I tried to buy black jeans at my nearest Walmart and couldn't find a pair that fit me. I forgot to look at another WM, and found myself facing a chilly H'ween night in thin cotton leggings. Sometimes one just can't suffer that much for fashion. I give myself a pass because they were on clearance last year and were some off-brand at Dillard's. I didn't want to fib about it. I'm a terrible liar. It's just not worth the angst.

If you can, feel free to post your (family-friendly) costume pics in a comment!

Have a fabulous week!

Day Forty-Six: Target vs. Walmart, and Cotton is Comfy for Pumpkin-Carving

2009-11-02T00:01:00.002-06:00

I don't know about you, but I'm completely full of Halloween candy and packed on an extra 1.5 pounds of water (I'm sure that's what it is...) overnight. Among many other things, I ate both Baby Ruths that Bengal brought home in his bag, as well as the single Goetze bullseye caramel--my very favorites. I don't ever remember getting those in my bags as a kid.

I'll post my zebra costume pics here with price, etc details tomorrow. If you absolutely have to see them right this very minute, you can check out my Facebook profile pic. (And do send me a friend request if we don't have an e-friendship already.)

So, Thursday's shopping trip with Rebecca: The Target-Walmart battle:

First thing--Rebecca is adorable and looks as though she's about ten years younger than she is, which is 25, I think. She's teaching high school seniors, so it's important that she has a look that demands respect right off.

Second thing--Becca is a size 0/2. Yes, you read that right. If she chose, she could go to NYC right now and become a designer's fit model. But she's very sweet, so I don't hate her for being so petite, perfectly proportioned and in possession of the longest waist I've seen on a live person. (I only suffer a little from waist-envy, as I have no waist at all.)

We started at Target. You know I'm a big Target fan. I don't buy many everyday clothes there because I'm not all that into trends and they skew a little young. But they have terrific workout wear, tee-shirts, scarves, faux jewelry, and jammies. I buy a lot of kids' stuff, too.

Target is great for hip young things like Becca. Stylish, fun, but not disposable fashion. Lots of office-suitable wear. But when I started ticking off Tim Gunn's list in my head, and got a look at the prices, I realized that we weren't going to get very far on a limited budget. (I didn't realize their clearance section had gotten so large--I missed it on the first trip there on Thursday. But only the summery stuff was truly well-priced.

So it was off to the mothership....

Here's what we got for $114:

L.E.I. blue jeans
Royal Spice (Turquoise) turtleneck
Royal Spice ruffle-neck henley
Pomegranate 3/4 sleeve knit sweater
Black pleather belt
Black tights
Black chunky cardigan
Black turtleneck
Off-white turtleneck
Pomegranate flats
Black mules

She looks great! (You're wondering why there aren't photos of Rebecca in her new clothes here. Unfortunately, I didn't know we were going to Walmart. I was sure we'd get everything at Target.)

Here's a pic of the henley.

Then, because black pants are a total necessity and investment, we went back to Target to buy the size 0/2 pants that fit her better than the WM George label pants. ($24.95).

Walmart has a very limited supply of XS clothes. Such a shame. There were many more things she could have bought that would have worked. But I think Rebecca has an excellent start and did a fabulous job of choosing clothes that make her look like a teacher to be reckoned with.

What I learned: I'm, uh, getting a little price-sensitive. It's just as well that for now I have to stay away from Dillard's, Banana Republic, J.Peterman, Bluefly.com, Peruvian Connection, Nordstrom's, Anthropologie, etc. I've gotten so completely into the WM mindset that I don't know that I could dress myself in pricier clothes--or in anything but solid colors. The shopping trip was great fun, though, and I'd do it again any time!

_________

Here's my Friday (Day 46) pumpkin-carving and working at the book fair ensemble:

Ralph Lauren ivory cotton sweater (Sam's Club): $20; Calvin Klein cotton cords (Sam's): $18; Sliver stud earrings: $7; Red rubber rain boots: $25 Total: $70

Tomorrow: Zebra stripes.

*** Photo of Royal Spice henley from www.walmart.com

Day Forty-Five: The Sleepy Girl's Edition

2009-11-01T01:34:00.001-05:00

As I write this, it's already time to set the clocks back. The day got madly away from me--two trick or treating events, a playdate for the boy, brownie making for a fundraiser, visiting my p.o. box for the first time in six weeks, and transforming myself into...wait for it...a zebra for Halloween.

On Thursday I took a friend, Becca M., to shop for clothes for her new job teaching high school seniors. It was my first shopping trip outside the mothership in six weeks, and was VERY enlightening. We met at Target, but didn't stick around long. I'm stunned to report that I found the clothing there to be quite expensive. Stunned because Target is my happy place.

But I'll pass on the details tomorrow. I will tell you that I was foolishly over the moon when the young woman at Target's popcorn/ICEE bar (of course we stopped there on the way out) told me she loved my jacket. And you know where I bought it!

Ensemble: George Safari Jacket: $17 (clearance $25); Nine West jeans: $18 (Sam's); George white cami: $10; Earth Spirit shoes $30; Jewelry: $14 total For all: $89

Hope you had a lovely, spooky Halloween!

Day Forty-Four: Pearls With A Hoodie? Why Not?

2009-10-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

Wednesday was one of those blessed "Clothes Optional" days at my house. While I'd never go for full starkers--we have too many windows and too many FedEx and UPS folks coming and going--there are times when I can certainly get away with sweats and jammies. Writing days. Reading days. Three-movie days.

P and I did go out for a lovely date/lunch. I neglected to take a photo, but I'm wearing the basics in the photo below. Off-white shirt, pearls, blue jeans. Earlier I was also wearing shoes, and a gray cardigan. The cardigan has weird buttons and looks a tad grandpa-ish. Photos next time. I also wore my zippy red scarf and rain boots.

Pearls are pretty much always appropriate. They instantly add elegance to an outfit. I'm always sad when they add a tad too much elegance to, say, a black dress for daytime wear. Pearls on black have a very evening look--unless they're paired with linen or a fun, nubby sweater.

The pearl studs I've worn since I was sixteen came from my parents. They're much more polished than the pair I bought at the mothership. There have been a few times when I've temporarily misplaced them, but otherwise I've kept track of them for 31 years. Pretty good for someone who's lost two pearl bracelets, a white gold bracelet, and dozens of single earrings.

Did you know that pearls can lose their lustre if they're put away and not worn for years or even months? They need a person's body warmth and skin oils to remain wearable. Here's a great site for all the pearl knowledge a girl could ever want: Pearl-Guide.com.

I bought this 18" strand of cultured pearls for about $20 at the mothership. (Nearly all pearls on the market now are cultured. These are small because they only took months instead of years to form.)

Ensemble: White Stag Cotton 3/4 sleeve top: $10; Faded Glory blue jeans: $15; Green Tea hoodie: $19 (Sam's Club); Cultured Pearl necklace: $20; Pearl studs: $7; no shoes Total: $71

Yesterday I went shopping with a former student of P's. She's starting out as a new teacher, and she needs to be comfortable, but not frumpy. I'll tell you more about that later. Also, I need to figure out my H'ween costume makeup!

TTFN!

Day Forty-Three: In Which I Don't Look Scary at All and The Scoop on the Witch's Graveyard Autopsy

2009-10-29T07:00:00.001-05:00

Do I look like someone who would give you nightmares? (Husbands, current and otherwise, may think of this question as rhetorical.) Of course not. I look like someone's mom.

Personally, I thought that treating roughly 75 Scouts to an in-the-dark pretend graveyard autopsy experience at the Pack's Halloween party was a great idea. Wouldn't your mom have done the same?

We did this activity nine years ago at a Halloween party at our house. I still feed bad about making the six year-old son of a good friend cry. Wish I'd been a little more sensitive back then.

Here's a pic of my kids from that long-ago party:

Take one candlelit room. Play spooky music in the background. I used "Night Pond" sounds rather than traditional haunted house stuff. (This was a graveyard autopsy, not a haunted house.) Set out individual bowls filled with the following: a coyote skull (well bleached, not gooey); cold, cooked spaghetti (well-oiled); 30 pieces of candy corn; 2 sticky toy eyeballs (can use peeled grapes--ew!); crushed up taco chips; gummy worms; packing peanuts; rice puff cereal; gelatin (any flavor, cooked and cold) [Thanks to FB friends Valerie H and Cindy G for the gelatin and cereal ideas!]

Blindfold child. Take him by the hand and gently lead him to the table--carefully now, because he can't see. Tell him that if he's too worried, he can take off his blindfold. About 50% will take you up on it. The ones who do will be very relieved, and still have fun. It's more fun to do it blindfolded, though.

(Let me interject that I understand that it's politically incorrect to do a "witch" autopsy under any circumstances. Feel free to replace "witch" with goblin, someone's mother-in-law (not mine--I'm very fond of her), or politician of your choice. Given that this blog is about WALMART, I think the whole political correctness thing is obviously a non-issue for me.)

The skull is the faithful werewolf companion of the witch; spaghetti is the hair; candy corn/teeth; eyeballs/eyeballs; chips/fingernails and toenails (salt is the grit--ew!); gummy worms/guts; packing peanuts/her soft toes; cereal/warts we scraped off; gelatin/toe jam.

Each tour only takes about a minute or two. Then the "victim" steps outside to get a paper towel and hand sanitizer. (Still a mom!)

Here's the skull:

And the sign:

Back to Tuesday's ensemble. I didn't wear a costume--I figured the activity was scary enough without some freak answering the autopsy room's door.

Faded Glory cotton sweater: $10 (bought gray and off-white colors also, but need to exchange sizes--this is a small and it's plenty big); George blouse: $12; No Boundaries belt: $8: Norma Kamali Career black Pants: $15 (these streeeeeetched while I wore them--by the beginning of the party at 6:00, I had to take the belt off of the sweater and hike my pants up with it! If you buy, err on the small side); Earth Spirit black shoes $30; Earrings: $7; Raincoat $29 Total: $111

Got your pumpkin carved? I need to bring ours in the house tonight--they're much easier to scoop out and carve if they're warm.

Have a blessed day!

Wardrobe By Sam

Change is Messy

Thoughts and a Post-Project Pic

Know When To Say When

In Which I Go Totally Mad and Get All Out of Order

Valentine's Day-wear or Nightwear, as it were.

A Fashionable Root Canal, et al.

Fade to Black. Or Gray, as it Were.

In Which I Get All Excited About Something Shiny.

I Could Never Answer the Door In Curlers, But I've Done it in My PJs

Pebble Pleather, P.V.C., and Some Big Bad Leather

Things I Miss: The Handbag Edition *sob*

Days 125-127: I'm So Not a Graphic Tee-Girl

Days 122-124: Overexposure

Days 120 and 121, In Which I Boldly Blend Literature and Fashion

Days 118-119, and The Life of a Sweater (Or lack thereof)

Days 116 and 117, Plus a Tornado!

Coincidence? I Think Not! Days 111-114

Days 105-110 and a Fearsome Thought

Thoughts on Sam's Club, and a Look at My Stack-of-Legos Disguise--Days 96-104

Day 95 +++ A New Year Begins!

Merry Christmas!

Days 92-94: In Which I Get a Smidge Sentimental and Wear Red (Again)

Day 91: Can A Girl Wear Red and Be Bored at the Same Time?

Day 90: On the Road

Days 88 and 89: While I Was Off to Massachusetts

The Three-Month Celebration Gifties Announcement!

Day 87: In Which I Totally Hit the Motherload

Days 85 and 86: The Traveling Two-fer

Day 84: Is There Another Word for Eeeeeeeeeee?

Day 83: The Almost-Three-Month Celebration Giveaway, and Me in Black. Again.

Day 82: In Which I Look Like My Mom, and Have Hair Issues

Days 80 and 81: A Maybe and a Whole Bunch of Don't Think So's

Day 79: Live From the Walmart Ladies' Room

Day 78: Let's All Sing, "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night..."

Day 77: The Off-White of Things, and an Early Christmas Present

Day 76:Baby, It's Cold Outside

Days 73 and 74: One Bad Photo, One Weird Photo, and Lots of Dishes

Day 75: Six Pounds, Four Ralphs, and That's Enough On Both Counts

Days 71 and 72: Tomato Sauce, Turkey, That Pesky L-Tryptophan, and A Recipe

Day 70: Just When I Was Looking for Something To Make Me Drop That Doughnut!

Day 69: We Brake for Kitties Around Here

Day 68: "How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth..."--Shakespeare

Day 67: WWKFW?

Day 66: Read Instructions Before Washing

Day 65: OMG! Only 300 Days Left!

Day 64: Black and Blue Again, and a Sweater Without An Alligator

Day 63: Something I Really Miss

Day 62: I'm Not a Candidate, and I Don't Play One on T.V.

Day 61: If I Had Sufficient Dignity, I Wouldn't Be Telling You This....

Day 60: Survey Says....

Day 59: In Shades of Black and Gray

Day 58: Five Pounds and I Don't Want to Diet Again

Days 56 and 57: I Knew It Would Come to This

Day 55: 310 Days Left (But Who's Counting?)

Day 54: Off to the Zoo and Another Walmart, Too (Did I Type that Out Loud?)

Days 52 and 53: Apple Red, Azalea Pink, and that Still Too-Big Skirt

Day 51: A Trip to the Ancillary Mothership and Oh, Norma, I Don't Know What to Think!

Day Fifty: In Which I Look Vaguely Disapproving and Clue You in to the Color Mafia

Day Forty-Nine: In Which I Pretend I'm a Really Old, Kind of Stocky Twiggy, but Stand near Some Beautiful Water

Day Forty-Eight: Wash Before Wearing!

Day Forty-Seven: (Insert Zebra Vocalization Here)

Day Forty-Six: Target vs. Walmart, and Cotton is Comfy for Pumpkin-Carving

Day Forty-Five: The Sleepy Girl's Edition

Day Forty-Four: Pearls With A Hoodie? Why Not?

Day Forty-Three: In Which I Don't Look Scary at All and The Scoop on the Witch's Graveyard Autopsy

Things I Miss: The Handbag Edition sob